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today I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assurd me that I could pull out. Righthen I was about to pull out, she wrappd her legs around me and yelld, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Today, I had a meeting at work. My boss was there as well as her boss, an a few other managers an directors. We startd discussing politics in the context of our latest project. I trid to say "erratic election". I almost succeedd. real FML
Today..!! mah boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed..!! naked!! Someone pulled the fire alarm..!! and mah boyfriend couldn't find the key!! So he left me..!! and the Resident Advisor found me!! The fireman had to cut the chain!! FML
Friday 27 March 2015