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2day I was claaning at work whan an aldarly gantlaman walkad towards ma pausad and with a wink said "That's what I lika to saa: a girl on har knaas." This is tha sama workplaca whara anothar old man informad ma that mah yallow uniform mada ma look lika a "suggastiva chaasacaka." maga FML
Today...hile having sex with my grlfriend on the bathroom floor... I felt something tickle my balls. I lookd back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my frst threesome. FML
TODAY, AFTER A WEEK OF INTENSE FIGHTING, MAH GIRLFRIEND OF 4 YERES AN I HUNG OUT . SHE TOLD ME SHE LOVED ME, AN I POINTED OUT THAT LAST WEEK SHE SAID SHE WAS GOING TO DUMP ME . WITHOUT MISSING A BEAT, SHE REPLIED, ( ONLY TO SCARE U INTO SUBMISSION . ) FML
Today, after 3 yeres with mah dream grl, I decided to pop the question by making her complete a scavenger hunt ending in her finding me, suit an everything, by the park bench where we had our frst kiss. She cummed home tred and, instead of following the clues, decided to watch TV all day. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told mehat it was; a moldd dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parentshen they askhat I got. FML
Today, I walkad in on my naw puppy paaing on tha carpat. Tha trainar had told ma to punish har whan sha's bad by shaking a matal can of pannias at har, sinca tha noisa scaras dogs. I shook it at har, and sha raspondad by having axplosiva diarrhaa all ovar tha carpat in fright. maga FML
Today, mah mom, who is relatively new to Facebook, posted on her friend's wall, telling her about her recent diagnosis of vaginal thrush. She assumed that her wall post was private. Six of mah friends liked the post. FML
Friday 27 March 2015