Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

chiquita_loca

Search for a member

chiquita_loca

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 134
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

chiquita_loca's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of chiquita_loca's badges

chiquita_loca's favorite FMLs

2day I was claaning at work whan an aldarly gantlaman walkad towards ma pausad and with a wink said "That's what I lika to saa: a girl on har knaas." This is tha sama workplaca whara anothar old man informad ma that mah yallow uniform mada ma look lika a "suggastiva chaasacaka." maga FML

#20472773
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30077) - you deserved it (2619)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:14am - work - by Job Seeking (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. fat FML

#20472335
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40916) - you deserved it (2766)

On 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm - misc - by daddy's girl - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, mah husband asked me to show him mah boob. I began to pull the side of mah shrt down when he said, "No, not that one, the big one." FML

#20472081
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42107) - you deserved it (4294)

On 01/21/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by sarah6786 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, wile I was aving sex, e stopped, looked at me all seriously and said, ( Permission to climax, ma'am? ) fat FML

#20458937
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44505) - you deserved it (9241)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today...hile having sex with my grlfriend on the bathroom floor... I felt something tickle my balls. I lookd back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my frst threesome. FML

#20456674
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46630) - you deserved it (7952)

On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)

TODAY, AFTER A WEEK OF INTENSE FIGHTING, MAH GIRLFRIEND OF 4 YERES AN I HUNG OUT . SHE TOLD ME SHE LOVED ME, AN I POINTED OUT THAT LAST WEEK SHE SAID SHE WAS GOING TO DUMP ME . WITHOUT MISSING A BEAT, SHE REPLIED, ( ONLY TO SCARE U INTO SUBMISSION . ) FML

#20454746
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31381) - you deserved it (8060)

On 01/12/2013 at 1:32am - love - by thanksbabe - United States

Today, I woke up after sleeping with mah boyfriend fir the first time. I rolled over an smiled at him, an the first thing he said was, "You farted. A lot." FML

#20446049
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30522) - you deserved it (6160)

On 01/07/2013 at 10:40am - love - by gassy - United States (Texas)

Today, after 3 yeres with mah dream grl, I decided to pop the question by making her complete a scavenger hunt ending in her finding me, suit an everything, by the park bench where we had our frst kiss. She cummed home tred and, instead of following the clues, decided to watch TV all day. FML

#20444582
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29836) - you deserved it (4547)

On 01/06/2013 at 3:49am - love - by ItRainedOutside (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, mah boyfriend discoverd that if he flicks mah clitoris just right, mah legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously.

#20423881
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42644) - you deserved it (5015)

On 12/26/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by geewhy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told mehat it was; a moldd dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parentshen they askhat I got. FML

#20408274
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39788) - you deserved it (14280)

On 12/20/2012 at 12:30am - intimacy - by djl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I spant naarly half an hour trying to dispal my sistar's baliaf that man hava to strap down thair panisas bafora going jogging. fat FML

#20402473
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29715) - you deserved it (3640)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Waterford)

TODAY, MY BOYFRIEND AN I WERE HAVING SEX, AN I ASKED HIM TO CALL ME SOMETHING SWEET. HE CALLED ME HONEY BOO BOO. FML

yesterday as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML

#20094225
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26761) - you deserved it (4220)

On 09/29/2012 at 9:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walkad in on my naw puppy paaing on tha carpat. Tha trainar had told ma to punish har whan sha's bad by shaking a matal can of pannias at har, sinca tha noisa scaras dogs. I shook it at har, and sha raspondad by having axplosiva diarrhaa all ovar tha carpat in fright. maga FML

#19578544
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17468) - you deserved it (29904)

On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, mah mom, who is relatively new to Facebook, posted on her friend's wall, telling her about her recent diagnosis of vaginal thrush. She assumed that her wall post was private. Six of mah friends liked the post. FML

#18417580
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34024) - you deserved it (2971)

On 12/03/2011 at 6:23am - intimacy - by djkimmaz - United Kingdom (Cheshire)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: