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chillinAK

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chillinAK
  • Town/Country : theres no place like home, theres no place like home!, Usa
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Monday 12 July 1982 (31 years)
  • Number of visits : 2091
  • Number of comments : 245
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About chillinAK : "A wise man is superior to any insults which can be put upon him, and the best reply to unseemly behavior is patience and moderation." Moliere

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chillinAK's favorite FMLs

Today, I started to fall in love with my wife again. We are in the middle of a divorce. FML

#17457372
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35606) - you deserved it (15701)

On 08/13/2011 at 3:25am - love - by badass - United States

Today, after coming back from deployment, I found a homeless guy had broken into my house and made it his home for the last 5 months. FML

#17443433
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32745) - you deserved it (2088)

On 08/11/2011 at 7:38pm - work - by Username - United States

Today, my husband, who is in the Navy, had a couple of his sailor friends over to hang out. The stereotype about their swearing is true. My two year old now won't stop saying "Fuck." FML

#17224016
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26684) - you deserved it (4344)

On 07/23/2011 at 12:05am - kids - by oliveoyl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after being in love with one of my best friends for ages, he took me on a date. We then went back to his place and we made love. Afterwards, he told me he wanted to show me something and led me outside. He ran back in and locked the door. It's a two hour walk home. FML

#17174791
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50922) - you deserved it (6538)

On 07/19/2011 at 7:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML

#16701794
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8430) - you deserved it (41642)

On 06/16/2011 at 9:39pm - health - by Hopslammer (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML

#14689182
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32861) - you deserved it (6215)

On 01/23/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28328) - you deserved it (18982) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

#14512160
458 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66246) - you deserved it (3486)

On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my perfectly sane and healthy 90 year old grandmother had a heart to heart with me. She told me she'd pay for a boob job. When I asked why, she said, "Sweetie, you'll never attract someone with those tiny suckers." FML

#13466592
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22871) - you deserved it (2621)

On 10/16/2010 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I married the woman I love. I wasn't the groom, I was the minister. FML

#13285940
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61134) - you deserved it (5804)

On 10/02/2010 at 4:07am - love - by Pr unlucky - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend proposed. The ring just had a piece of graphite on it. My boyfriend argued that since graphite and diamonds are both just forms of carbon, it is the same thing. FML

#12899907
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27483) - you deserved it (11005)

On 09/04/2010 at 10:08am - misc - by pencilring (woman) - United States

Today, after nearly 2 years of continuous fighting in Afghanistan, my unit came home. We were booed at the airport. FML

#12810587
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112708) - you deserved it (11182)

On 08/29/2010 at 8:39pm - misc - by soldierboy - United States

Today, my boyfriend forgot our anniversary. But it's okay; I wasn't expecting anything after he forgot my birthday, Valentine's Day, and my name. FML

#12409274
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32094) - you deserved it (20404)

On 08/09/2010 at 10:38am - love - by Forgotten (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while moving, I asked my wife where she put the alcohol. She told me she threw it out, because it was old. It was Scotch. It's supposed to be old. FML

#12343499
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35946) - you deserved it (4974)

On 08/06/2010 at 12:40am - love - by rugs - United States (Iowa)

Today, my best friend who I've known since high school is getting married. I'm supposed to give a toast during the reception about how great the bride and groom are. I've been sleeping with the groom for the past 7 months. FML

#12294723
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9126) - you deserved it (119574)

On 08/03/2010 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Emily (woman) - United States (Kansas)



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