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chickenwalrus

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chickenwalrus

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1854
  • Number of comments : 146
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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chickenwalrus's page activity

Visits<b>Demonface54</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 11:26am<b>Tbear11</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 11:24am<b>BobyTheDerp</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 7:38am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 4:30pm<b>Dlzq</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 7:01am<b>Happy_FairyTail</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 2:32pm<b>ItsAlly</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 2:41am<b>abattior</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 7:30pm<b>tigerisabelle</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:57pm<b>stupidretriever</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 10:39pm<b>SystemofaBlink41</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 11:43pm<b>Le_Rabbid</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 9:36pm<b>Aero_x</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 5:37am<b>erenjaeger</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 1:57pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 7:50pm<b>idkwht2put</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 8:44pm<b>crossdresseryau</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 12:35am<b>bambam20</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 9:47pm

chickenwalrus's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of chickenwalrus's badges

chickenwalrus's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad made a new house rule: "If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down." My whole house now smells like pee. FML

#19082292
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25214) - you deserved it (2335)

On 02/15/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by Bondi414 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML

#18976293
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17303) - you deserved it (21853)

On 02/02/2012 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - India

Today, I was greeting customers at work. After saying good morning to one man, he stopped and looked at me from head to toe before smirking and saying, "Mmmm." He then turned around and said, "It's starting." It's only my first day. FML

#18912868
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21970) - you deserved it (2405)

On 01/25/2012 at 11:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at school, I was scheduled to give a presentation to my class. As I arrived, my teacher said to me, "You're bleeding from the 120th pimple on your left cheek." FML

#18854508
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40268) - you deserved it (3934) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/19/2012 at 4:59pm - misc - by elite -

Today, I was walking to the bus stop when someone slapped an innocent person in the face with a fish. I was that innocent person. FML

#18812835
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31901) - you deserved it (3394)

On 01/15/2012 at 5:24am - misc - by lolwtfbbq444 - Australia

Today, my toaster scared me. Again. FML

#18784375
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14245) - you deserved it (24519)

On 01/12/2012 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Armagh)

Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML

#18758727
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65331) - you deserved it (3140)

On 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by fuckparents (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

#18703291
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31781) - you deserved it (27444)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as an important meeting with clients was drawing to a close, we all stood up and they bid their farewells. My response was to blurt out, "Hello!" FML

#18701372
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18019) - you deserved it (6846)

On 01/03/2012 at 10:30pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I ordered a pizza. I paid and tipped the pizza guy, and instead of saying goodbye, I got tongue-tied and said, "I love you, boo." FML

#18546937
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13757) - you deserved it (26500)

On 12/18/2011 at 6:36pm - misc - by Musicfreak (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

#18507550
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22764) - you deserved it (7207)

On 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm - health - by brownunderwear - United States (Washington)

Today, a creepy old guy on the bus asked me if I wanted to "lick it." When I said no, he tried to convince me by telling me that "it tastes good." FML

#18496344
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31676) - you deserved it (2659)

On 12/12/2011 at 6:17pm - intimacy - by flowerchildd2 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11464) - you deserved it (88933)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I went to a concert. Being 6'5" was a great advantage because I could see the stage from wherever I was stood. On the downside, I was used by people as a meeting point. FML

#18447491
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27844) - you deserved it (3525)

On 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by jackgrant (man) - Iran Islamic Republic of

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

#18439975
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15056) - you deserved it (40048)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States



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