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chickenwalrus's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
chickenwalrus's favorite FMLs
by Bondi414 / 02/15/2012 at 12:05am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/02/2012 at 1:07pm / India / Intimacy
Today, I was greeting customers at work. After saying good morning to one man, he stopped and looked at me from head to toe before smirking and saying, "Mmmm." He then turned around and said, "It's starting." It's only my first day. FML
by Anonymous / 01/25/2012 at 11:59pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by elite / 01/19/2012 at 4:59pm / Miscellaneous
by lolwtfbbq444 / 01/15/2012 at 5:24am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/12/2012 at 11:33am / United Kingdom (Armagh) / Miscellaneous
Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML
by fuckparents / 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/04/2012 at 1:43am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/03/2012 at 10:30pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by Musicfreak / 12/18/2011 at 6:36pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by brownunderwear / 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by flowerchildd2 / 12/12/2011 at 6:17pm / United States (Colorado) / Transportation
by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous
by jackgrant / 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm / Iran Islamic Republic of / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML
by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm / United States / Love
- Today, my boyfriend got a new rifle. He forced me to watch him stripping it, oiling it, and sliding… Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend of nine months when she gets a phone call and decides to… Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time, the one day my period came early.…