About chickenflem : I love Reading FML before bed, reminds me that I don't own all of the problems in the world haha. Anyways don't take my comments seriously. Chill out. I'm just try a have some fun. Grammar nazis stay away! If u got any questions or just wna chat well sorry. Dont msg me cuz I won't reply, I'm usually on my iPhone so yeah...
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chickenflem's favorite FMLs
Today, I bought a new armband to hold my iPhone while working out so I can listen to music and I was excited to start getting in shape. Unfortunately, when I tried it on, my arm was too big and it didn't fit. FML
by joe / 11/18/2012 at 10:13pm / United States (Maryland) / Health
Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML
by mm / 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United Kingdom (Warrington) / Miscellaneous
by HappinessOrOrgasms / 11/05/2012 at 2:25pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML
by Anonymous / 10/30/2012 at 8:29pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by BobsBabe2 / 10/24/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Kids
Today, some kid decided to pee in the kids' play area at work. Because I was the shortest employee working at the time, I got to climb through the area to mop it up, while all the kids pointed and laughed at me. FML
by Anonymous / 09/26/2012 at 1:37pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by KidKillah / 09/01/2012 at 12:07am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, after finishing a song during karaoke, a man came up to me and held out his hand. Quite flattered, I shook it, said thanks and that I was glad he enjoyed it. Turns out he was next and just wanted the microphone. FML
by Anonymous / 08/30/2012 at 4:52am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by freaked out / 08/30/2012 at 4:04am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by WTF / 08/22/2012 at 6:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/05/2012 at 3:08am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/28/2012 at 11:00pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
Today, my mom told me that Walmart had called and I had an interview at 9:30. I went to Walmart. They told me they didn't have any interviews set up. I went back home and listened to the voice-mail on her cellphone. It was the Subway in Walmart. I've been looking for a job for 3 months. FML
by Jake / 03/07/2012 at 6:14am / United States (Idaho) / Work
Today, my boyfriend decided to piss in the shower while I was standing next to him. I did not mind, until I realised the water flows away incredibly slowly. I had to stand in his piss while the shower filled itself with the sweet odor of fresh urine. FML
by DjeePee / 03/07/2012 at 5:28am / Belgium (Antwerpen) / Miscellaneous
by virginkiller / 03/03/2012 at 8:23am / Singapore / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…
- Today, I learned that if a friend ever suggests you sleep with her boyfriend, it's probably because… Today, a sweet old man came knocking. He asked about my elderly neighbor who he has been trying to… Today, I went to a grad school fair. Tuition costs more than I make in a year. I'm thirty. I think…