About chickenflem : I love Reading FML before bed, reminds me that I don't own all of the problems in the world haha. Anyways don't take my comments seriously. Chill out. I'm just try a have some fun. Grammar nazis stay away! If u got any questions or just wna chat well sorry. Dont msg me cuz I won't reply, I'm usually on my iPhone so yeah...
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chickenflem's favorite FMLs
Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML
by Urgghh / 05/16/2013 at 5:36pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/08/2013 at 10:36am / United States / Miscellaneous
by good job bf / 01/10/2013 at 11:06pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I overheard my mother telling my sister that she expects my marriage to fall apart any day now. Apparently, I have no concept of what "marriage" really means. My husband and I just celebrated our 7th anniversary, while my mother is planning her 5th wedding. FML
by alynna007 / 01/02/2013 at 5:31am / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, at the hospital I work at, I had to deliver my best friend's baby. I later found out that my ex boyfriend was the father. Normally this wouldn't faze me, but it did because we broke up last month. FML
by Anonymous / 12/29/2012 at 3:25am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
by Brittany / 12/22/2012 at 9:33pm / United States / Love
Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML
by Anonymous / 12/19/2012 at 12:19pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my friend was complaining to me about her problems. I tried to be a good, understanding friend, listening and giving advice. When it was my turn to vent, she interrupted me, saying, "Sorry, but I don't really care." FML
by sushichick / 12/12/2012 at 7:44am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML
by Anonymous / 12/07/2012 at 10:30am / United States / Animals
Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just my imagination, I did my business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML
by lingadoo / 12/07/2012 at 12:46am / Kuwait (Al Kuwayt) / Miscellaneous
by disembob / 12/02/2012 at 9:26pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, while working at my local supermarket, I found a boy lost and wandering about, so I took him to the front desk. My reward from his mother was a slap around the face and harsh words for supposedly having kidnapped him. FML
by bitch i'm a gerontophile / 11/29/2012 at 1:08pm / Taiwan / Work
Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML
by Widowmaker / 11/28/2012 at 1:09pm / United States (Nevada) / Health
by Read The Fine Print / 11/24/2012 at 12:55am / United States (California) / Transportation
by RyanJarmanForPresident / 11/23/2012 at 4:07am / United States / Kids
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…