Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cheshirecat13242

Offline (yesterday at 1:50pm) | Search for a member

cheshirecat13242

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 March 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 806
  • Number of comments : 152
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About cheshirecat13242 : Hi there! I'm a guy, like 28 years old, a U.S. Air Force vet, a very single dad of an awesome 5 year old girl, & an easygoing guy--that's very opinionated.

I like ATV's, snowboarding, traveling, hiking and drinking beer. If you're here because you liked one of my comments--great--PM me about it & shower me with your appreciation! If it's because you want to bitch about my comment that offended you, feel free to PM me & I'll gladly tell you to go hump a rake.

"Yeah.. People rent me sometimes."
--K. Jeremy Cain

cheshirecat13242's page activity

Visits<b>violetmay210</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 5:56pm<b>TypoFairy</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 1:08am<b>squidgy1234</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 4:25pm<b>lordofthepubes</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 11:37am<b>sadbubbles</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 11:20pm<b>vance_bryce12</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 5:33pm<b>unknown3s3</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 4:55pm<b>JskTheFork</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 7:03am<b>Codyfootball</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 6:45am<b>Lexasaurus7</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 2:16am<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 12:34am<b>man_eating_bunny</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 12:00am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 11:45pm<b>oops6663</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 11:18pm<b>tbrown0089</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 10:48pm<b>ashleyyeah</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 10:45pm<b>summer135790</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 10:38pm<b>frostownz33</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 10:29pm

Liked!<b>bobby_gartin</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 12:57pm

cheshirecat13242's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of cheshirecat13242's badges

cheshirecat13242's favorite FMLs

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML

#20974515
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56142) - you deserved it (6079)

On 11/29/2013 at 6:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mother posted a video of me giving birth, on Facebook. FML

#20974447
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55053) - you deserved it (4031)

On 11/29/2013 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my neighbor brought a ruined napkin holder over and claimed that we drilled a hole through his wall and ruined it. I apologized, not telling him that it was actually a bullet that my boyfriend shot through the wall. FML

#20974338
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23133) - you deserved it (36723)

On 11/29/2013 at 12:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, to make it seem like the customers actually liked me, I told my coworkers I got tipped $12. Sadly, that "$12 tip" came from my own pocket. FML

#20973265
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32879) - you deserved it (11751)

On 11/28/2013 at 1:39am - work - by MicachuPikachu (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was quite drunk so I decided to take a piss kneeling down, so I wouldn't miss. I dropped the toilet seat on my little soldier. FML

Today, my boyfriend announced to me he was sleeping with another girl via alphabet soup. FML

#20968871
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45063) - you deserved it (3507)

On 11/24/2013 at 11:01am - love - by fries - United States (New York)

Today, I got excited because I found Monsters University and The Croods online, neither of which I've seen. I'm 33, single, and it's Saturday night. FML

#20968315
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37478) - you deserved it (7385)

On 11/23/2013 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML

#20967242
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43780) - you deserved it (4438)

On 11/22/2013 at 8:08pm - love - by quit fucking up my life (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my boyfriend got on one knee and started talking about how we met. Knowing what was coming, I started tearing up, absolutely sure he was going to propose. Just as I was about to say yes, he quickly stood up and yelled "HAH, JUST KIDDING". FML

#20967193
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59855) - you deserved it (5548)

On 11/22/2013 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my father took revenge on me for bankrupting him in a game of Monopoly. His revenge consisted of having a truckload of sand dumped in my driveway while I was at work. FML

#20966996
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38199) - you deserved it (3205)

On 11/22/2013 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to explain to my pregnant friend that her plan to get drunk and get a tattoo needed to wait at least 8 months. She then went out for a smoke to calm down. FML

#20966742
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49778) - you deserved it (3760)

On 11/22/2013 at 9:49am - health - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I forgot I left my tampons in a grocery bag packed with food that I put into the fridge. I realized two hours later while frantically looking for a tampon. I'm still cold down there. FML

#20966555
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39497) - you deserved it (11556)

On 11/22/2013 at 1:53am - misc - by InsertPopcicle (woman) - United States

Today, in my second year at university, I took a pregnancy test. It is the only test I've passed all month. FML

#20966092
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32279) - you deserved it (46873)

On 11/21/2013 at 7:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I met my brother's girlfriend. We got talking, and we got onto the subject of tattoos. I said how much I hated tramp stamps, and how they make girls look trashy. She said, "Like this?" and showed me hers. FML

#20952213
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37691) - you deserved it (17502)

On 11/10/2013 at 12:51am - misc - by tramp - United States

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML

#20950555
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42858) - you deserved it (7987)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:02pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: