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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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cherry_blossom

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cherry_blossom
  • Town/Country : US
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 19 January 1992 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 4023
  • Number of comments : 79
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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cherry_blossom's favorite FMLs

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

#17843744 (306)

I agree, your life sucks (8765) - you deserved it (19932)

On 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm - health - by mimi - United States (Illinois)

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423 (43)

I agree, your life sucks (21570) - you deserved it (6059)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

#17742835 (269)

I agree, your life sucks (23648) - you deserved it (3651)

On 09/14/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by funnymanjoe - United States (Illinois)

Today, my neighbor declared his love for me via "the medium of interpretative dance." FML

#17641775 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (18886) - you deserved it (1873)

On 09/02/2011 at 2:54am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my daughter turned Emo. FML

#17640475 (270)

I agree, your life sucks (15096) - you deserved it (4695)

On 09/01/2011 at 11:44pm - kids - by nyaahaha - United States

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273 (61)

I agree, your life sucks (25880) - you deserved it (3078)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, my grandmother refused to wear clothes. FML

#17633195 (68)

I agree, your life sucks (9507) - you deserved it (805)

On 09/01/2011 at 1:29am - misc - by bob - United States

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

#17628781 (234)

I agree, your life sucks (10470) - you deserved it (946)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

#17526799 (288)

I agree, your life sucks (22582) - you deserved it (3126)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to utter the phrase "OK, but no cape during sex" to my girlfriend. FML

#17518257 (238)

I agree, your life sucks (20113) - you deserved it (3898)

On 08/19/2011 at 9:40am - intimacy - by nerofirst - Canada (Ontario)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML

#15538339 (214)

I agree, your life sucks (26212) - you deserved it (3535)

On 03/28/2011 at 10:22pm - misc - by -_- - United States (Florida)

Today, I got 2 creams for a skin condition. The one for my face says "Don't expose skin to sun after use of this product". The one for the rest of my body says "This product relies on exposure to the sun". In other words, I have to be outside as much as I can, naked and with a box on my head. FML

#15480042 (224)

I agree, your life sucks (25638) - you deserved it (4542)

On 03/25/2011 at 8:22am - health - by FromNL (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, while trying to explain to my date that a small coffee would be fine, I said "I'm cheap and I'm easy". FML

#14654282 (53)

I agree, your life sucks (8068) - you deserved it (20678)

On 01/20/2011 at 8:41pm - intimacy - by Username -

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613 (255)

I agree, your life sucks (30951) - you deserved it (19962) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705 (270)

I agree, your life sucks (22650) - you deserved it (14579) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins