About cherrio27 : so soccer's pretty cool...
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cherrio27's favorite FMLs
Today, I talked to my husband about his lack of interest in sex. Apparently his definition is polar to mine; his is along the lines of cuddling. Not only did I wait until marriage to have sex with this man, apparently he prefers a permanent roommate without benefits. FML
by OverIt / 02/25/2014 at 5:24pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/25/2014 at 4:17pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to proofread a document my boss had written. When I pointed out that he spelled "college" as "collage" multiple times, he angrily accused me of trying to make him look stupid. This is the guy who constantly boasts about his "genius" IQ level to the whole office. FML
by cunting cuntface of a boss / 02/25/2014 at 3:42pm / Australia / Work
Today, I threw an eraser at my brother to get his attention because he couldn't hear me over his music. Being in a bad mood, he thought I was trying to aggravate his bad mood and responded by throwing a small desk cactus back. FML
by ThatGuyWithFMLs / 02/25/2014 at 4:31am / Japan (Osaka) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend dumped me. This poses a problem, because her mother is my boss, and we work in an office on the first story of their apartment. Tomorrow I have to decide whether to quit my awesome and only job, or go to work for my now ex's mother in their house. FML
by M.A. / 02/25/2014 at 12:22am / United States (Arizona) / Love
by sonwhy / 02/24/2014 at 7:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, my pregnant wife's parents called me at work, saying she'd been crying inconsolably and wouldn't say what was wrong. After pleading with my boss, I rushed home. Turns out there was an "ugly" sofa in a TV ad and she felt it was "picking on ugly sofas". FML
by fuckmeitsgettingworse / 02/24/2014 at 2:36pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/24/2014 at 10:21am / United States / Transportation
by You Are My Sunshine / 02/23/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was trying to study for a test when my brother and his friends decided to play the chant game, meaning one person yells something weird and everyone else has to say it back without laughing. All I heard for about two hours was them yelling things like, "DICK NIPPLES." FML
by DIY560 / 02/23/2014 at 10:59pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML
by hot sweet.... not / 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm / United Kingdom (Renfrewshire) / Kids
Today, I've been forced to start packing to go on a vacation with my parents, because they say I've been studying too hard and need a break. I've hardly studied at all and was planning on making up for it all in the time I had left before finals. I'm screwed. FML
by goodbye cruel world / 02/23/2014 at 2:00pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by coppervains / 02/22/2014 at 1:13pm / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy
Today, I was at the mall with a couple of friends when we saw a couple of cute boys. I made eye contact with the cutest one. Flustered, I giggled, only to send a wad of snot flying out of my nose. FML
by Anonymous / 02/21/2014 at 9:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by ashamedklutz / 02/21/2014 at 7:20pm / United Kingdom (Fife) / Work
- Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry… Today, I got a call from a restricted number. When I answered, it was a prank call. The kids on the… Today, it was my fifth wedding anniversary. After an intense lovemaking session, my husband looked…