About cherrio27 : so soccer's pretty cool...
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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cherrio27's favorite FMLs
Today, I was babysitting my 4-year-old cousin. She scraped her knee, and in an attempt to cheer her up, I put a refrigerator box over my head and waddled around like a penguin. She stopped crying, but only after I fell down a flight of tile stairs. FML
by hbbbs / 03/01/2014 at 7:58pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, after paying at the gas station, the cashier stuck out her hand, which was clenched into a fist. I thought she wanted a fist-bump, so I gave her one. She just stared back at me. Turns out she was just trying to give me my change. FML
by SarahNB / 03/01/2014 at 4:09pm / United States (Utah) / Money
by Anonymous / 03/01/2014 at 5:42am / United States (Virginia) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/01/2014 at 3:30am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by lacy / 03/01/2014 at 3:23am / United States (Kentucky) / Animals
Today, I met my boyfriend's adoptive family. There was his mom and several brothers, one of whom tried to hit on me. They tried to convince my boyfriend to break up with me, and his mom told me I'll probably get knocked up by the brother who hit on me. FML
by Anonymous / 03/01/2014 at 1:09am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/28/2014 at 5:26pm / Russian Federation (Moskva) / Intimacy
Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms when we make love, I tried politely hinting that he needs to improve. To start with, I said maybe he should be more spontaneous in bed. He replied, "What, like putting it in your ass? Gotcha." Great. FML
by Anonymous / 02/28/2014 at 4:10pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy
Today, I told my parents about the amazing guy I met. My mom immediately stormed out. My dad got up, looked at me and told me he's disappointed in me for "falling into the traps of the Internet," and leaves. I didn't meet him on the Internet. FML
by littlekellilee / 02/28/2014 at 9:50am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by Ohgodmother / 02/28/2014 at 4:06am / Australia (Tasmania) / Kids
Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML
by well SHIT / 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by lovely / 02/26/2014 at 1:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, on Facebook, someone wrote a status implying that she was going to kill herself. I called a mutual friend, asking to check up on her. The next status the girl puts up said, "Someone thought I was going to commit suicide! Haha what a loser!" FML
by Anonymous / 02/26/2014 at 4:31am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that the little arrow next to my gas gauge actually points to the side of the car where the tank is. For the past year-and-a-half I've been sticking my head out the window and even calling my parents to ask which side it was on, because I can never remember. FML
by Anonymous / 02/26/2014 at 2:18am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 02/25/2014 at 10:50pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
- Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend of nine months when she gets a phone call and decides to… Today, I went to my doctor to get the morning after pill. I explained to her that the condom broke… Today, I woke up and realized I have experienced my first "nocturnal emission". I am a 24 year old…