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cherod72

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cherod72
  • Town/Country : Los Angeles, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 62
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, I had to have a talk with my stalker. After telling him not to snapchat me, not to text me, and that I'm not interested, all he said was "I think persistence is going to be key here." FML

#20967638
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39476) - you deserved it (3045)

On 11/23/2013 at 3:02am - misc - by AshleyRose24 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34147) - you deserved it (3973)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38400) - you deserved it (3847)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML

#17557500
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16991) - you deserved it (47878)

On 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by MissCan'tKeepAJob - United States (Texas)

Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML

#17190246
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34938) - you deserved it (10176)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:38pm - love - by John (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked over to my grandmother's house to pay her a visit. I politely knocked on the door, and there was no answer. Fearing that something had happened, I violently broke down the door to find my grandma and her new 80 year old boyfriend having sex. FML

#8643603
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24300) - you deserved it (6233)

On 02/25/2010 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by ryan and Zack - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was attending a drug-free lecture at school. The speaker said, "There are many ways to quit smoking. You can try patches, gum, or even quitting cold turkey. Any questions?" I raised my hand, and she called on me. I asked, "How does cold turkey help?" And then I realized. FML

#6683898
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6578) - you deserved it (31479)

On 12/09/2009 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I dyed my hair blonde for my boyfriend, hoping it would help spice up our sex life. His response? It's still a few shades off from his favorite porn star. FML

#6193403
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18117) - you deserved it (4252)

On 11/07/2009 at 7:55am - intimacy - by Blondegirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband left his cell phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being a very curious person, I decided to call "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML

#6192797
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32805) - you deserved it (13812)

On 11/07/2009 at 5:22am - misc - by badwife (woman) - Japan

Today, my unemployed boyfriend and I went to the casino. I gave him twenty dollars to play on. He won $1000 on a dollar machine then jackpotted the ten dollar machine for $20,000. When we got home he broke up with me. I have been working two jobs to get our own place. Move in Date?? 2 weeks. FML

#5351230
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41113) - you deserved it (4345)

On 09/19/2009 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML

#3711192
377 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17718) - you deserved it (77013)

On 07/13/2009 at 5:17am - intimacy - by air (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I got beaten up by my ex-girlfriend's older brother who does mixed martial arts, because my ex saw me making out with another girl. We broke up over 6 months ago. FML

#3338347
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54374) - you deserved it (4088)

On 06/29/2009 at 3:55pm - misc - by thatCanadianGuy7 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice "oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML

#2308066
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67599) - you deserved it (17472)

On 05/26/2009 at 12:53pm - intimacy - by alexis89 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to call my wife while she was having a private lunch with my parents. I began to tell her all the nasty things I was going to do to her in bed. Halfway through my fantasy, she giggled and told me that she was going to take me off speakerphone. FML

#273030
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26674) - you deserved it (60333)

On 03/11/2009 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by SoggyPancakes (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, when I woke up, my husband was already up. Thinking I hear him in the hall I shout out "come on, don't be shy, bring that cock in here right now!". A voice replies: "he's gone out to get some bread". It was my mother-in-law. FML

#351
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33445) - you deserved it (11130)

On 11/20/2008 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by Tinker-Bell - Sent from mobile version



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