Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About chelle_starlight : My name is Michelle, but you can call me chelle or chelly. I am 19 years old and favorite color is blue. Traveling is exciting, dancing is fun, and shopping is therapeutic to me. I also love singing in the car, especially with friends (haha) – I am currently addicted / obsessed with the British alternative band, MUSE! Words can’t describe how much I am in love with this extremely talented band at the moment! Sushi is yummy, tomatoes are gross, cats are cool, perfume is my addiction, and spiders scare me. People tend to remember my smile & laugh the most. What a lot of people don’t know about me is that I can be very adventurous, very extroverted, and sometimes spontaneous. I secretly want to be a hula girl in Hawaii. One day I hope, dream, and plan to have a career in psychology where I can get the chance to explore the stuff that makes me tick— the concepts of perception, emotion, motivation, personality, and behavior.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML
Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML
Today, I decided to buy my Chinese Studies professor a gift from Taiwan. So I bought her a mini-Taiwanese passport that said "Republic of China" on it. As it turns out, it was actually a two-pack of travel condoms. FML
Today, I've recently gained weight so I bought an exercise video. I started it right away in my room on the top floor. My younger sister screamed and ran outside a few minutes later. She thought it was an earthquake. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, I walk out of my apartment to find that my car is decorated with explicit drawings and "Happy 21st birthday" stuff written all over it. To top it off, my vehicle is completely wrapped in plastic wrap. I'm 22 and my birthday is in December. FML
Today, my parents took my laptop, cut the Internet, took my car keys and TV, and removed my bedroom door. Why? Because they thought the plant I was growing for my science project was a marijuana plant. Oh yeah, they took that too. My presentation is tomorrow. FML
Friday 31 July 2015