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chelbeezy

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chelbeezy's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

#20086703
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25208) - you deserved it (5693)

On 09/24/2012 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by disgusted - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my co-worker told me I should stop smoking cigarettes because it makes my breath "smell like shit" and makes my teeth look as yellow as corn. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life. FML

#20029161
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23825) - you deserved it (8058)

On 08/19/2012 at 12:19am - work - by pridekills - United States (Florida)

Today, I was walking up some stairs and heard a noise as if someone was following me. The faster I went, the louder the noise got. I was too scared to realize that it was just my thighs causing my jeans to chafe. FML

#20016166
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15018) - you deserved it (9301)

On 08/12/2012 at 12:34am - misc - by FlorenceD - United States (Texas)

Today, I taught my friend how to use a staple gun. She taught me how to get staples out of my hand. FML

#19514784
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18284) - you deserved it (3672)

On 04/23/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by leprechaun23 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

#19475030
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19150) - you deserved it (36677)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
582 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13065) - you deserved it (54042) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I realized I've been confusing scenes from The Lord of the Rings with American history. FML

#19339659
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7451) - you deserved it (24462)

On 03/24/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by Avery - United States (California)

Today, I texted my mom if she could pick me up from the hospital. She replied "No fatty, walk home." I have a broken foot. FML

#19226146
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31621) - you deserved it (2758)

On 03/06/2012 at 6:50am - health - by FootyFoot (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML

#19137014
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8372) - you deserved it (18913)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:56am - misc - by jenni6488 - United Kingdom (Gateshead)

Today, while pulling into my driveway, I slightly bumped into something. My wife. I'll be sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

#18474194
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23091) - you deserved it (18289)

On 12/10/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by godhatesme (man) - United States

Today, I caught my mother trying to text on her iPhone, with her nipple. FML

#18364433
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37499) - you deserved it (3088)

On 11/27/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I spent over 20 minutes trying to convince my daughter that the word she was trying to use was "Back-pack" and not "Back-back". I never convinced her. She is 16 years old. FML

Today, while dancing at my studio, our instructor was giving us all characters opposite of ourselves to portray in an improv solo. My friends got cool things like "creepy" and "vulnerable". I got "extremely sexy". FML

#18085773
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26716) - you deserved it (3475)

On 10/27/2011 at 12:00am - misc - by apparentlyunsexy - United States (Texas)

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

#18013165
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18298) - you deserved it (37042)

On 10/18/2011 at 2:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me a Paul Frank t-shirt. It says "I'm single." FML

#17839190
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29280) - you deserved it (2422)

On 09/26/2011 at 1:06pm - love - by happybirthday (man) - United Kingdom (London)



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