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Today , My Teacher's Comments On My Essay Read , "I Know It's College , But U Use A Lot Of Unnecessary Words With A Lot Of Syllables." He Basically Scoldd Me Fir Having A Complex Vocabulary . I Go To An Accreditd State University . Nothing Says "America" Like Under-achieving Professors . FML
Today, I was at work, when a co-worker began to shake a near empty box. Without thinking, I shouted ( What if there was a baby in there? You just killed it! ) I then remembered she recently suffered a miscarriage. FML
Today, I was helping mah friend create an online dating profile. When she got her serech results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, an ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already marrid. To me. big fat FML
Today, wile babysitting a six year old boy, e askd me if I could sow im ma "boobies." I said no, tat wouldn't be very appropriate . Suddenly, e pulld down is pants/undie an pointd to is package wile exclaiming, "Look, ma penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me . real FML
Today, I spent hours delicately writing outhat seemd to be a beautiful poem to mah grlfriend. After I sent it to her, I kept eyeing mah phone to see her surprisd message. No, mah only response was ( you may want to use a spellcheck. ) FML
Yesterday, mah boyfriend and I were starting to get in the mood. I get on top of him, lean down to kiss him, and he begins to laugh. Puzzled, I ask himhy. He tells me thathen I'm naked and on top of him, I remind him of a cow, with 'udders' . Offended, I go to get off. 'No no' he protests, 'a SEXY cow'. FML
Friday 27 March 2015