About cheesymike1 : Im the boss.
About cheesymike1 : Im the boss.
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cheesymike1's favorite FMLs
Today, I got written up for drinking on the job by a manager who drinks on the job, who was told to write me up by a general manager who drinks on the job, and we are all employed by an owner who drinks on the job. I haven't had a drink in 3 weeks. FML
by DJJayLee / 06/23/2014 at 1:45am / United States (Nevada) / Work
Today, my 5-year-old son thought it'd be a good idea to pee into the heat vent in the hallway of our apartment building. The whole building now smells like urine. The landlord is a 6-foot ex-convict. He wants answers. FML
by Anonymous / 03/07/2014 at 8:16pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by Sad Student / 02/02/2014 at 10:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, I had to pee during a supervised lockdown. I asked my teacher to take me since we couldn't be in the halls alone. Since class was going, she couldn't take me. Much to my dismay, she sent a school-wide email asking for someone to take me to pee. Six teachers took me, including my principal. FML
by Anon / 12/18/2013 at 4:56am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife made a system where I earn gaming time by either giving her money or doing her favors. Now whenever I use my phone, she accuses me of "secretly playing Xbox games" and gets pissed at me. I'm 28 years old. FML
by Somerandomguy64 / 12/10/2013 at 1:04pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML
by OakStake / 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/26/2013 at 9:39pm / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML
by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids
by WinkleBottom / 11/04/2013 at 5:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML
by Anonymous / 11/02/2013 at 1:34pm / United States (California) / Health
by OutOfMyMind / 10/21/2013 at 8:12pm / United States (Florida) / Health
by confusedmofo / 07/29/2013 at 2:35am / Indonesia / Love
Today, I was preparing a customer's meal in my restaurant's kitchen, when I choked on my own saliva and went into a coughing fit. The head chef, who's always hated my guts, accused me of trying to hock a loogie into the meal and fired me on the spot. FML
by fuckthisandfuckthatandfuckyoutoo / 07/28/2013 at 12:23pm / United States / Work
by ttREZZ / 07/27/2013 at 1:02am / United States (Indiana) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/25/2013 at 8:13pm / South Africa / Transportation
- Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job."… Today, I was taking a long, relaxing, hot bath with my girlfriend after a long day. She had fallen… Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and…