About cheesyfeet2001 : I give Fucks back! If you have a badge I don't have yet, please message me how to get it ( as long as it isn't obvious). Thanks for reading if you bothered!
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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
cheesyfeet2001's favorite FMLs
Today, I was taking a shower, facing away from the faucet, when I dropped the soap. When I bent over to pick up the soap, my sister flushed a toilet in the next room, causing hot water to scorch my anus. I got made my shower's bitch, FML
by teflon_hammer / 05/25/2016 at 7:19pm / United States (Colorado) / Health
Today, I found an injured rabbit by the side of the road. I was about to take it to the local vet, when my husband picked it up and casually snapped its neck. "No rabbit's worth my money" he said, forgetting that he's been a jobless moocher for over 3 years. Pass me the goddamn divorce papers. FML
by Anonymous / 05/14/2016 at 6:34am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I was at a party at my boyfriend's house. As I was walking past him, he pulled me onto his lap and started introducing me to a childhood friend. I sneezed and accidently peed on him. I'm 6 months pregnant and can't control my bladder. FML
by queen_lol / 05/10/2016 at 1:14pm / United States / Love
Today, some people in my class here in New Zealand found out that I'm from Canada, then spent the rest of the period asking if I had a pet moose and whether or not I lived in an igloo. They were completely genuine questions. FML
by nootnoot / 05/10/2016 at 2:33am / New Zealand (Gisborne) / Miscellaneous
by somuchhatesolittleworld / 05/09/2016 at 10:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Finding Kemo / 04/16/2016 at 3:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/02/2016 at 5:23am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried to train my cat to scratch the scratching post by giving her a treat every time she used it, but she took that as getting a treat every time she scratched something. Now, not only does she scratch all my furniture, but she also meows for a treat while doing it. FML
by angrypetowner / 03/28/2016 at 11:24pm / United States (Missouri) / Animals
by Anonymous / 03/28/2016 at 4:23pm / United States / Love
Today, I was walking out of a grocery store. I hit the button on my key to open the trunk, and the trunk lid hit an old lady just under her chin and knocked her to the ground. As she laid there, she pointed a shaky, bony finger at me and yelled that she would sue me for everything I have. FML
by gnofin / 03/22/2016 at 5:23pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my class was given the assignment to have an informal discussion, debating who would be the best fit for president of the US. The school's security guards were called in after the Trump supporters started fights with everyone else. FML
by Off to Canada / 03/16/2016 at 3:48am / Hong Kong / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss - whose intelligence level hovers a hair above "Herpity derpity derp" - got up my ass and accused me of lying to him. All because I said that just because I'm a network admin, I can't make his 7 year old piece of crap Blackberry magically be able to use 4G networks. FML
by Anonymous / 03/11/2016 at 2:44pm / United States (California) / Work
by Thanks Trump / 03/08/2016 at 5:31pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 17 year old daughter told me she was going to bake a cake. When she finished she offered me one and it was crunchy. I asked her why and she said the recipe said to put eggs in. She put them in whole. FML
by anonymous / 03/06/2016 at 12:33am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
Today, my psycho ex defaced my car. She didn't key it or slash my tires. She posted "TRUMP 2016" bumper stickers all over it. I don't know what glue they use, but it's been 2 hours and I haven't gotten any of them off. FML
by Baegel / 03/01/2016 at 8:52pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous