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I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
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Taday I took my grlfriend to looool meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and endd up crying to my mum about how I can't please her cuz I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML
Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw mah drunk dad chasing mah uncle on a tractorhile bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML
today I woke up wit a raging angover . I soon cecked ma pone.. . only to find tat I'd drunkenly sent nude picture to several friends' numbers.. . as well as to ma own . I'd ten replied to ma own message.. . saying tat I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off . FML
TODAY, I SPRAYED DOWN SOME ANTS IN MY HOUSE. IN THE SEA OF ANT CORPSE WAS A SINGLE LIVING ANT SEEMINGLY CRADLING A DEAD ONE IN ITS ARMS. I'M CONVINCED I JUST BECAME THE VILLAIN IN AN EPIC TRAGEDY. NOW I HAVE TO LIVE WITH MY ANT PROBLEM BECAUSE I CAN'T BEAR TO TEAR ANOTHER FAMILY APART. FML
TODAY I ASKD OUT THE MAN OF MY DREAMS. HE TOLD ME HE'D ASK HIS DAD IF IT WAS OKAY. I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST KIDDING, UNTIL HE PULLD OUT HIS PHONE AND CALLD HIS DAD. AFTER A FEW MINUTES OF "COME ON, DAD" AND "BUT WHY?" HE HUNG UP AND SAID HIS DAD WOULDN'T LET HIM. HE'S 22. FML
Yesterday, daughter, who was born in late 2000, mentioned how amazing it is that she'll be alive during the year 3000. I asked her exactly how old she think she'll be by then. She said, "Thrty, duh." I've screwed up as a parent, so very badly. FML
Today, I draggd myself to work, suffering from a bad cold. My boss quietly told me to go home an rest, to avoid spreading it around the office. I thought it odd since he dislike me so much, but I did as he said. He calld later in the day to suspend me for leaving work early. FML
Taday I was on drive-thru where I work . Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through . A woman cummed in and I noticed her dog . Without a thought.. . I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one . I looked again . The 'dog was her daughter . FML
Today, I was using te urinal wen anoter guy came in. His friends decidd to scare im wile e was using te urinal next to mine. Tey jumpd out at im, e turnd around an endd up peeing all over me. mega FML
TODAY, I CALLED A TREE REMOVAL COMPANY TO HAVE MAH DISEASED ELM REMOVED. WHEN I GOT HOME FROM WORK, I WAS SURPRISED TO FIND IT STILL THERE. NOT AS SURPRISED AS MAH NEIGHBOR WAS TO DISCOVER THAT HIS TREE WAS MISSING, NOR AS SURPRISED AS HIS CHILDRENHEN THEY SAW THERE WAS NO MORE TREE-HOUSE. FML
TADAY I OVERERED MY RIPPD, ANDSOME, GENETICALLY PERFECT BROTER TELLING MY MOM OW ( FAT PEOPLE ) MAKE IM ( NERVOUS ). I AVE ONLY RECENTLY ACCEPTD MY WEIGT, AFTER STRUGGLING FIR YERES. I NOW UNDERSTANDY MY BROTER RARELY TALKS TO ME. REAL FML
Friday 27 March 2015