About cheeriotolife : just trying to make it through life with as few physical and emotional scars as possible. It doesn't seem to be working out though. My addiction: tumblr. I'm never off it. I can't sleep unless I smoke pot and a cigarette. I box and horseback ride. I don't care about people's opinions of me. Message me if you want ✌
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cheeriotolife's favorite FMLs
Today, it's been almost a week since I returned from my vacation to Ireland. Before I rarely drank. Now I'm pretty sure I'm an alcoholic. You might think I'm joking, but I've woken up hungover every day since I landed there. I basically paid to kill my liver and become AA's next poster child. FML
by Anonymous / 08/25/2014 at 12:01pm / United States (New York) / Holidays
by Anonymous / 06/12/2014 at 1:02am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by as-salamu alaykum, motherfucker / 04/05/2014 at 6:04pm / United Kingdom (Wirral) / Miscellaneous
by LeChameauTrisomique / 03/14/2014 at 12:33am / France (Centre) / Work
Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML
by Anonymous / 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by Catuser / 03/05/2014 at 10:09pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Silver_Jet / 03/05/2014 at 8:59pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I talked to my husband about his lack of interest in sex. Apparently his definition is polar to mine; his is along the lines of cuddling. Not only did I wait until marriage to have sex with this man, apparently he prefers a permanent roommate without benefits. FML
by OverIt / 02/25/2014 at 5:24pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, I threw an eraser at my brother to get his attention because he couldn't hear me over his music. Being in a bad mood, he thought I was trying to aggravate his bad mood and responded by throwing a small desk cactus back. FML
by ThatGuyWithFMLs / 02/25/2014 at 4:31am / Japan (Osaka) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML
by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 10:47am / United States (Missouri) / Kids
by Crashed / 01/01/2014 at 1:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML
by Anonymous / 12/30/2013 at 7:10am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
Today, I had to go tree shopping with my dad and some of his work buddies. It hit its lowest point when one loudly told us about a crap handjob he got recently. "I mean yeah, choke the cock," he said, "but don't choke it to DEATH, nam'sayin'?" I'd never wanted to just drop dead more. FML
by ANONYMOUS -_- / 12/15/2013 at 12:18pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/16/2013 at 8:03pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, my boyfriend took me to get the abortion that we both agreed on. He was being so supportive… Today, I texted my boyfriend a few dirty messages at lunch time and told him how badly I wanted him… Today, as I snuck downstairs for a midnight movie, I witnessed my dad "polishing his wand" to Harry…