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cheerios

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cheerios

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cheerios's favorite FMLs

Today, my family gathered to pray. It was my brother's turn to pray and he ended with this, "...and help Chev that he does not become the disappointment everyone expects him to be. Amen." I looked on in shock as my entire family nodded and said "Amen" in agreement. Hi, I'm Chev. FML

#5293926
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39572) - you deserved it (4624)

On 09/16/2009 at 3:58pm - misc - by jaskyriddims (man) - Dominica (Saint George)

Today, I was talking to my guy friend on the phone. He said, "You sound depressed, I should cheer you up and give you a big hug." Jokingly, I responded, "You wouldn't hug something as gross as me." His response? "You'd be surprised." FML

#4174665
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13323) - you deserved it (39807)

On 07/31/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by Girafarig (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

#4070299
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52055) - you deserved it (14207)

On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, while doing aerobics in my room, I started doing really powerful Knee Highs. My cell phone fell out of my pocket while doing one knee high. As I looked down, I kneed myself in the face. I spent the next couple hours in the emergency room while the doctor told everyone my story. FML

#4054233
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32113) - you deserved it (17896)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:39pm - health - by mobster (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I decided to make a place in my house for my friends to sign called “The Friend Wall." By sign I meant sign, not draw body parts. This afternoon I ate lunch next to a basketball-sized vagina and a monumentally large blue and purple penis. FML

#4031081
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10999) - you deserved it (55141)

On 07/25/2009 at 2:32pm - misc - by rbates - United States (Florida)

Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML

#3998492
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70392) - you deserved it (7020)

On 07/24/2009 at 3:04am - kids - by tony (man) - United States (California)

Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML

#3971516
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50965) - you deserved it (3914)

On 07/23/2009 at 3:10am - kids - by bbbkingsey (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94465) - you deserved it (19965)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
819 comments

I agree, your life sucks (119078) - you deserved it (73898)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I finally confessed to the guy I've liked for 2 years. I told him that I've really liked him for a long time and that I knew he had a girlfriend and I didn't expect anything from him, I just wanted him to know. His response: "Are you done? 'Cause I need to go to the bathroom." FML

#2749071
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49350) - you deserved it (14993)

On 06/09/2009 at 5:40pm - love - by ohwell (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

#2722142
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83821) - you deserved it (20394)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I woke up hungover and thirsty, I found a glass of water next to the sink, filled it up with more water, chugged it and went back to bed. I woke up an hour later to my best friend telling me she thought she lost her contacts. They were in a glass next to the sink. I ate her contacts. FML

#2711154
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29153) - you deserved it (38635)

On 06/08/2009 at 2:54am - misc - by KBO (woman) - Australia



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