supp bby doll (: im emily. im 16. im 5'0 short. & 110lb. im russian american polish & italian. i love to -- act, play guitar, play drums, my xbox360 & ps3, txting, surfing, photography, cooking and anything chill & adventureous (: im SINGLE AND LOOKING (: soon -- im going to the army for two years, then college for acting (: [im way excited about getting my snakebites and septum and belly button pierced soon] (:
Today, I did some math. Relaxing bubble bath soap:$17.00. Enough water to fill a bathtub: $10. Favorite tea: $4. Organic candle: $8. Looking out the window to see your 70+ year old male neighbor taking pictures of you lowering yourself into your bath: priceless. FML
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On 05/28/2009 at 11:00am - money - by BABYof_theGROUP (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was driving in my car with my daughter, who was eating a nutri-grain bar. After a while she holds out her hand saying, "It's on my finger! I don't wanna eat it!" I pick up the little piece of nutri-grain filling and put it in my mouth, only to realize it was a large booger. FML
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On 05/23/2009 at 2:10pm - kids - by nutrigrain123 (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML
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On 05/23/2009 at 1:48pm - love - by jimbop (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mom and I went to the store. I asked her to go get me coconut smelling shampoo and tampons while I lingered by the magazines trying to talk to this cute guy. My mom comes around into our aisle and says "I smelled all the tampons and none smelled like coconut, so I just got you these" FML
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On 05/22/2009 at 12:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death" (my dildo). FML
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On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - kids - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I was taking a final exam and I reached into my pocket to get out a pencil. I felt this thing in my pocket so I got it out and put it on the desk. At first I thought it was a leaf but then it started kicking and trying to run around. It was a cockroach. It had been living in my pocket. FML
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On 05/21/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by GrahamCracker (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I cried when Adam lost American Idol. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14320) - you totally deserved it (57503)
On 05/21/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by idolfan (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the mall blasting music, I was wearing a nice shirt and had my ipod in my breast pocket when I noticed a cute girl smiling at me so I smiled back and she started to walk over while turning down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML
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On 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm - love - by zero_minded12 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was watching TV with a cup of coffee. My mum asked if I wanted a mars bar. I said that would be great and she proceeded to throw one at me, catching me off guard. The mars bar went straight into my coffee, spilling it over my bare legs. I now have a scald mark on my penis. FML
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On 05/20/2009 at 3:53pm - misc - by Benji (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)
Today, I was in my Cosmetic Application class, and we were about to apply foundation to our models. I walk over to my friend and say "Wow, that foundation is really orange and blotchy." Then the model turns to me and says "Actually, we haven't started yet... that's just my skin." FML
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On 05/19/2009 at 4:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and proceeded to say (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!". FML
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On 05/18/2009 at 8:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, for my birthday, I got a Big Mac. FML
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On 05/17/2009 at 4:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my dad got really drunk. When I was about to go to bed, he was just coming out of the bathroom, he was fully naked, I immediately turned away and said "Okay Dad, time for bed". Thinking that I was my mum, he replied with "That's right bitch, I'm your daddy, I'll show you in bed". FML
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On 05/17/2009 at 10:22am - misc - by mynickhuh (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then proceeded to call out my own name by accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17522) - you totally deserved it (66507)
On 05/07/2009 at 10:45am - intimacy - by eeh (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was getting ready for bed, when I decided to watch some porno on the computer. Suddenly someone from my messenger list says, "You might want to turn off the 'What You're Listening To' option if you're watching porn." I snapped and exited the porn. 63 people saw. FML
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On 04/24/2009 at 4:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
