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Offline (the 12/12/2014 at 9:10am) | Search for a member
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, I was waiting fir wife in a mall when some kids came and sat near me, wearing band t-shrts. I recognized some, as I was into The Smiths and Black Flag in youth. I tried to strike up a music-fan chat with them. "Fuck off, grandad" and "Ew, pedo" is all I got in return. FML
Today.. . I had mah girlfriend over to meet mah parents . After dinner.. . we were in the living room talking . My dad thought it would be funny to grab our cat.. . stick it down his shirt.. . then pretend to give birth to it.. . with sound effects . FML
Yesterday Fater Bet Me $200 Tat Since Boyfriend Is "suc A Stupid Sit," E Wouldn't Be Able To Locate Paraguay On A Map!! I Gladly Acceptd Te Bet!! Not Only Did E Not Know Were It Is, E Actually Accusd Us Of Making Te Country Up!! FML
Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook . I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed . Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie . FML
my drunk boyfriend decided to try to serenade me by trowing rocks at ma window and singing a song about ow muc e loves me. Tis would ave been extremely sweet if e would ave gotten ma window instead of ma dad's. FML
Today, I was out apartment unting wit ma boyfriend. We visited a marvelou place tat ticked all te boxes on our requirement cecklist, but ma boyfriend was unentused. Tere was just one small detail tat I adn’t factored in: it's very badly located if ever zombie attack.
Today, mah boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and leren about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. fat FML
Today, I accidentally decodd the system my parent use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossd-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" big fat FML
Friday 27 March 2015