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Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25883) - you deserved it (10107) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/18/2013 at 6:39am - animals - by dormeur - Sent from mobile version
Today, my son got his first tooth, and is enthusiastically biting everything. I breastfeed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26915) - you deserved it (4572)
On 01/09/2013 at 1:48pm - kids - by loveyouson (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43575) - you deserved it (4295)
On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States
Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31321) - you deserved it (2923)
On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)
Today, I was on my favourite forum when I saw a guy ranting at some pro-lifer fanatic. For fun, I replied "umad bro?" apparently moments after the forum founder also left an angry reply. I'm now banned for a month for "trolling the founder" and all my posts have vanished without a trace. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7772) - you deserved it (22008)
On 12/23/2012 at 5:24pm - misc - by you fuckhobbit (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I received a package from a local guy on Craigslist. Instead of the iPhone I paid $350 for, the box only contained a photo of an iPhone. The guy had been dumb enough to attach a return address, so my husband went over and beat the shit out of him. I now have to bail him out of jail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32558) - you deserved it (8444)
On 12/23/2012 at 12:52pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I walked in on my son and his friend comparing their penis sizes. They're 6. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29513) - you deserved it (3694)
On 12/23/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by oh my son - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16723) - you deserved it (2114)
On 11/23/2012 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17411) - you deserved it (1018)
On 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm - work - by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my brother decided to join me on my first date. Not only did he answer the door with a bat, he also got inside the car and sat next to my date, pushing me to the back. He stayed the entire time, and walked me back to the house. My mom laughed and gave him $20. It was a dare. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20649) - you deserved it (1489)
On 11/12/2012 at 10:47pm - misc - by Mmkay1515 (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I found my childhood diary stashed in a box in the attic. I flipped to the last page and noticed a little note written by my now deceased father. It read, "Well son, this diary proves that you're a whiny asshole - Dad." Thanks Dad, from beyond the grave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17510) - you deserved it (3270)
On 11/12/2012 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, I found my childhood diary stashed in a box in the attic. I flipped to the last page and noticed a little note written by my now deceased father. It read, "Well son, this diary proves that you're a whiny asshole - Dad." Thanks Dad, from beyond the grave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17510) - you deserved it (3270)
On 11/12/2012 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24407) - you deserved it (1323)
On 10/24/2012 at 5:08pm - love - by wtactualfuck :( (woman) - United States
Today, after 6 months of training and going to the gym every day, I realized that the only thing I've lost is $300 worth of gas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14075) - you deserved it (3819)
On 10/24/2012 at 9:09am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while walking on a nearly empty street, my friend dared me to slap a tall muscular chick on the butt and run away. I went and did it, but before I even had a chance to turn and run, she grabbed me, bent me over her knee and spanked me until I cried. My friend filmed it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5121) - you deserved it (33450)
On 10/24/2012 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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