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Today, I was threatened with suspension from school because of my nose piercing. I had to explain that it's actually a pimple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29263) - you deserved it (1825)
On 10/11/2011 at 4:05pm - health - by top dog! - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pounds father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22810) - you deserved it (2051)
On 08/28/2011 at 4:27am - misc - by CooBerry3851 - United States (Washington)
Today, while paying for groceries, I opened my wallet to find that all my cash had been exchanged for Monopoly money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26995) - you deserved it (1969)
On 08/27/2011 at 8:38pm - money - by KayDayParade - United States
Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18567) - you deserved it (3597)
On 08/27/2011 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to a bar with some friends when my wife texted me asking where I was. Not wanting her to know I was at a bar, I told her I was still at work. She was sitting in the booth behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5738) - you deserved it (52633)
On 08/27/2011 at 12:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Today, I got suspended for bringing a "hazardous weapon" to school. They were earrings. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24301) - you deserved it (2294)
On 08/26/2011 at 8:03am - misc - by christine brown - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25628) - you deserved it (2645)
On 08/25/2011 at 2:49am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my aunt and uncle stole $584 from me, since I'm moving out. Their reasoning? I stole things. When I asked what I'd stolen, my aunt looked me straight in the eye and said "Milk Duds." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24637) - you deserved it (1961)
On 08/24/2011 at 4:03am - money - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14451) - you deserved it (22952)
On 08/13/2011 at 2:51am - kids - by brittbrat4 - United States (Florida)
Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32907) - you deserved it (3156)
On 08/13/2011 at 2:37am - love - by bTOhno - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I went into a crowded store and tried out a blazer. I was thinking to myself how hot I looked in it when the manager tapped me on the shoulder and politely said, "Excuse me sir, that's a ladies' blazer." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19855) - you deserved it (8609)
Today, I went bowling with my parents. This cute guy works there and he always flirts with me. My mom just so happened to see it today. As we left, she says to him "You know she's 13, right?" I'm 17. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32818) - you deserved it (2128)
On 08/03/2011 at 2:01am - love - by Michelle - United States (Maryland)
Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45777) - you deserved it (2382)
On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)
Today, I quit smoking. It seems that when you don't smoke for almost 24 hours, your sense of smell comes back. I then noticed how disgusting my apartment smells. Great. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8895) - you deserved it (33241)
On 08/02/2011 at 11:33pm - misc - by Username - United States (California)
Today, a friend from work threw a party. We each had to dress up as a deceased celebrity. I thought it'd be a perfect time to dress up as Marilyn Monroe. When I arrived to the party, my boss said "But... Rosie O'Donnell isn't dead." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22114) - you deserved it (4467)
On 08/02/2011 at 7:46pm - work - by theonlychildd1 (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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