Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

chancjd

Offline (yesterday at 4:37am) | Search for a member

chancjd

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 153
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

chancjd's page activity

Visits<b>purochiwas1</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 10:41pm<b>mikky8484</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 11:26am<b>kiskraze</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 1:19pm<b>r70093</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 5:26pm

chancjd's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of chancjd's badges

chancjd's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom and I took my senile grandmother to the mall, since she doesn't get out much. She complained it was hot, then took her clothing off in the middle of the food court. It took us thirty minutes to make her put her shirt back on. FML

#20187746
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21091) - you deserved it (1835)

On 12/02/2012 at 9:05am - misc - by Sam - United States (Indiana)

Today, my dog was licking the dishes in the dishwasher when his collar got stuck on it. Then he got scared of the dishwasher rack following him and ran away really fast. Now I have no dishes. FML

Today, I was told the Mandarin greeting that my new Chinese friends at school taught me was not really a greeting at all. I've been proclaiming "I'm a dumb bitch" every time I've greeted them, almost every day for the past month. FML

#19627538
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22508) - you deserved it (7636)

On 05/15/2012 at 3:02pm - misc - by FML (woman) - Finland

Today, my husband drew a penis on every one of my cigarettes. It's a new pack. FML

#19508691
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7792) - you deserved it (62494)

On 04/21/2012 at 11:15pm - misc - by Jenn P (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML

#19102316
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26204) - you deserved it (3503)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:13pm - intimacy - by -_- (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I rubbed my face in my armpit stubble because it felt like my ex-boyfriend's face. FML

#18342381
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12918) - you deserved it (45413)

On 11/24/2011 at 10:51pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very loudly next to me. Everyone in the aisle looked our way. The woman pointed at me, and left the aisle. I received many disgusted looks from children and their parents. FML

#17555349
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28873) - you deserved it (2475)

On 08/23/2011 at 3:14am - misc - by kykynevs - United States (Illinois)

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

#16860650
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38738) - you deserved it (15591)

On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to a party and we all decided to play hide-and-go-seek despite our ages. I started counting. When I was done, I started searching and after 5 minutes of searching, I found that everyone left me. FML

Today, I thought it would be funny to jump in the pool while holding my cat. I am currently in the hospital due to the severe cuts on my face and throat. FML

#16725871
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9577) - you deserved it (100484)

On 06/18/2011 at 6:32am - health - by princev - United States

Today, I had to be the one to break it to my daughter that WWE fighting was staged. She began crying. However, last month she didn't shed a single tear at her grandmother's funeral. FML

#16655787
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35867) - you deserved it (5108)

On 06/14/2011 at 2:08am - kids - by mk (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

#14990668
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45208) - you deserved it (13030)

On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, talking to my boyfriend about each others families, we noticed we both had an aunt with the same name. After a while of trying to figure things out, we decide to call her. Turns out that we are long distance cousins. FML

#13558265
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51414) - you deserved it (3982)

On 10/23/2010 at 2:07am - love - by Oriianna Raiinbow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

#12978436
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8424) - you deserved it (38088)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML

#12305756
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38253) - you deserved it (10202)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:25am - intimacy - by Embarressed... (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: