cerlia

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cerlia

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4889
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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cerlia's page activity

Visits<b>geri665</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 3:39am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 12:02pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 1:02am<b>badmandilon</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 5:32pm<b>Justdoitdamn</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 12:10am<b>haylburg</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 4:27pm<b>SpiderInsomniac</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 9:24pm<b>XanderJayNix</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 12:21am<b>nela25</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 1:46am<b>Thorvald22</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 4:17pm<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 1:41am<b>fuckit_oo</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 11:42pm<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 12:46pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 1:38am<b>Zzaacchh12</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 7:29am<b>Phoebe_Buffay</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 11:59pm<b>BinaryGuy</b> - the 02/01/2013 at 4:10pm<b>morgiepuff</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 7:22pm

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cerlia's favorite FMLs

Today, I was reading in my bed, and my cat was lying on my chest. I noticed something white on my cat's leg. I'm far-sighted and wasn't wearing my glasses, so I didn't see what it was. I touched it and put on my glasses. Turns out it was a worm hanging out of my cat's anus. It started wiggling. FML

by K.H / 10/26/2009 at 12:42pm / Sweden (Dalarnas Lan) / Animals

Today, I locked my keys in my car. My spare keys are 45 minutes away in my dorm room. My dorm room keys are attached to my car keys locked in my car. Security said they would let me in as long as I had my school ID. It's on my keychain. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2009 at 11:53am / United States (Maine) / Transportation

Today, I was walking to my friends Halloween themed birthday party in my zombie costume. Apparently, my crazy coke addicted neighbor found the costume too realistic. He tackled me. FML

by Pwnedofthedead / 10/03/2009 at 11:34am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my girlfriend told me she lost her phone and not to call or text her. After about three hours, I text her phone, asking if she found it yet. I got a reply, saying "Nope." FML

by dumbass / 10/01/2009 at 4:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML

by grossgross / 09/26/2009 at 2:21pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I was offered a position as a school crossing guard. I have a $200,000 degree in Economics from a top 20 University and was offered a position to hold a stop sign and wear a reflective vest. I was tempted to accept. FML

by UnemployedGrad / 09/25/2009 at 12:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, my navy boyfriend, who's stationed in Italy, calls me to say he is in San Francisco and is coming to see me. After scrambling to get ready, he calls me back to say he doesn't recognize the train station. After searching on Google Maps, it becomes clear he's drunk at Oktoberfest. In Germany. FML

by Spatch / 09/23/2009 at 10:47pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was driving in the left lane and was suddenly hit by a woman who was in the right lane. I ran off the road, taking out a fence and totaling my car. When the cops asked the woman what happened she responded, "My tom-tom told me to turn left." FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2009 at 12:36pm / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I washed one of my roommates t-shirts. I forgot to remove it before putting it in the dryer, and all the print on the front melted off. It was a gift from his girlfriend. Who has just passed away. FML

by whyme27 / 09/08/2009 at 10:41pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving to work when a state trooper rammed into my car from behind, because he was on the cell phone and not paying attention. He gave me a ticket for "Failure to control speed to avoid a crash." FML

by rammedbehind / 08/26/2009 at 5:36pm / United States (Maryland) / Transportation

Today, I corrected my mom in front of our family while she was ragging on my 12 year old cousin who got a piercing. She said, "You don't understand you don't have kids, but on the other hand you probably never will!" I have Polycystic ovary syndrome, she is right, I probably never will. FML

by fannyfitel123 / 08/24/2009 at 12:43pm / United States (Maryland) / Health

Today, I made a very pretty sunflower cake that I woke up incredibly early to make. It took me hours and a lot of money. It was for my grandparents anniversary and my whole family was invited. We only got to see the remains because the waiter gave it to the wrong family, and they ate it. FML

by sunflowercake / 08/23/2009 at 7:10pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I made a very pretty sunflower cake that I woke up incredibly early to make. It took me hours and a lot of money. It was for my grandparents anniversary and my whole family was invited. We only got to see the remains because the waiter gave it to the wrong family, and they ate it. FML

by sunflowercake / 08/23/2009 at 7:10pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2009 at 12:01am / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML

by hunnydoll / 08/17/2009 at 8:16pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous