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cerealman

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cerealman
  • Town/Country : Wisconsin, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1392
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About cerealman : Uhm, 15 almost 16. I love music, no joke. That's about it. I'm a pretty boring person I guess.

Never mind. I'm 16 now.
Never mind. 17 now.

cerealman's last visitors

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of cerealman's badges

cerealman's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my first day on the job as a first grade teacher. One student pushed another, so I asked him to apologize. His response? "If you boss me around, I'll tell Daddy you touched me somewhere you shouldn't have." I think I'm now this kid's slave. FML

#17615072
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33192) - you deserved it (3228)

On 08/29/2011 at 7:59pm - kids - by slavelaborsux (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, it's been a year since I've been with my girlfriend, and I think that I hate more things about her than I like. For instance, how she likes to throw furniture at me. FML

#17611164
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24451) - you deserved it (9127)

On 08/29/2011 at 8:46am - love - by True Story - Canada

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a break-up letter, using Comic Sans. FML

#17576599
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29431) - you deserved it (3841)

On 08/25/2011 at 10:33am - love - by hendrix1 - United States (California)

Today, a girl came into my salon to permanently straighten her really long and curly hair. After several long hours, I went to the counter to charge her. She ran out faster than an Olympic runner. FML

#17473722
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32810) - you deserved it (2437)

On 08/14/2011 at 8:47pm - work - by theultimatesalonfail - United States

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30017) - you deserved it (8708)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

#17447180
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29643) - you deserved it (4067)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, since I'm too ashamed to go buy a proper sex toy, I used an old Star Wars toy sword instead. FML

#17436824
397 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9584) - you deserved it (37771)

On 08/11/2011 at 1:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, I finally started doing cardio and getting in shape. What motivated me to do it? Watching a zombie movie. The slow ones bite the dust first. FML

#17355150
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24564) - you deserved it (7536)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:55pm - health - by indierocklove - United States (Virginia)

Today, after babysitting, the parents actually tried to pay me in Trident Layers Gum. FML

#17207993
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42542) - you deserved it (4545)

On 07/21/2011 at 8:20pm - money - by iwantmoney - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw a turtle on the road so I swerved, and hit a tree. The people behind me then hit the turtle. FML

#17078585
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28848) - you deserved it (8573)

On 07/12/2011 at 9:26am - misc - by turtle - United States (Illinois)

Today, I began to walk across the street when I saw a very familiar old lady struggle across it. I walked over to help her, and only after she had blown her rape whistle and socked me in the nuts did she realize I was her grandson. FML

#16919201
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33621) - you deserved it (2353)

On 06/30/2011 at 4:18am - misc - by John - United States

Today, my husband bought me a bouquet of roses. They caused me to sneeze seven times in a row. That was the closest he's ever got me to an orgasm. FML

#16757067
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34641) - you deserved it (7608)

On 06/20/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, both of the roads leading to my small town were washed out by rising flood waters. I now live on an island in the middle of Wyoming. FML

#16357497
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30955) - you deserved it (2918)

On 05/26/2011 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, both of the roads leading to my small town were washed out by rising flood waters. I now live on an island in the middle of Wyoming. FML

#16357497
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30955) - you deserved it (2918)

On 05/26/2011 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML

#16234467
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57436) - you deserved it (3399)

On 05/18/2011 at 3:57am - intimacy - by Jackedup (man) - United States (Florida)



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Thursday 10 April 2014

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