cda2090

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cda2090

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 495
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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cda2090's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 3:37pm<b>Rainbowkupkake</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 1:39am<b>Agnesia</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 3:29pm<b>Lanker</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 3:09am<b>zandalee</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 3:10am<b>Narttu</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 10:29am<b>TheFlamingTiger</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 11:09pm<b>Exotic_Nihilism</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 9:48am<b>AculyAmber</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 6:06pm<b>starile</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 3:47pm<b>IHATEFMYLIFE</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 1:06am<b>Headcrab</b> - the 03/22/2013 at 2:01pm<b>deOrca</b> - the 11/18/2011 at 1:16pm

cda2090's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of cda2090's badges

cda2090's favorite FMLs

Today, I texted my friend and asked her what her sad status on Facebook was about. She texted me back saying her step-mother had passed away. I tried to reply with "awwh" but my phone autocorrected it to "ahaha." FML

by iPhonekid / 05/27/2012 at 3:19am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate for the first time in several months. Then we heard our son yelling from the other room needing my help. He needed me to scratch his foot because the cat was on his lap and he couldn't reach it. FML

by footscratching / 01/28/2012 at 1:27am / United States / Kids

Today, my dog surprised everyone by somehow managing to climb on the roof. I followed him up and spent the next hour trying to catch him. FML

by crazydog / 06/10/2011 at 4:39pm / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, I made my young niece lunch. After she claimed to have eaten it all, she wanted to go out and play. I was putting my shoes on when I found part of the sandwich I made her stuffed in my shoe. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2011 at 1:35pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I ran a red light in front of a cop and got pulled over. My friend thought it would be funny to throw a knife in my lap and scream "Help me officer, he has a knife!" FML

by FrOsTy25 / 04/13/2011 at 6:57pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was rudely stopped in the park by a woman screaming at me for being a slut for having a baby so young. She got so worked up that she started swearing. Not only was I just babysitting for a friend, I am unable to get the toddler to stop swearing. FML

by QuicksilverMaximoff / 01/30/2011 at 9:46am / United Kingdom (St. Helens) / Kids

Today, I was feeling nauseous and my cat was comforting me. I breathed in through my nose, and my cat's fur caused me to sneeze. I sneezed so hard, I threw up out my nose. Nothing will get rid of the smell from within my nasal cavity. FML

by can't breathe / 11/22/2010 at 6:33am / Australia (Western Australia) / Health

Today, I tried drinking "Smart Water" for the first time. I couldn't figure out how to open the bottle. FML

by tstaeger / 07/24/2010 at 1:20am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, my youngest son thought that RedBull actually gave him wings. What it actually gave him was a trip to the ER and 7 stitches. It also gave me a meeting with social services. FML

by DaddyZ / 06/27/2010 at 9:30am / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, after threatening my son for weeks that if he didn't clean his room, I would, I went in, equipped with a garbage bag, ready to throw away everything I found, only to discover dozens of empty bottles, two partially empty pizza boxes, Taco Bell wrappers, and cockroaches. FML

by disguested / 03/04/2010 at 3:01pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

by BathroomMuch / 12/25/2009 at 11:15am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, for the first time ever, while I was driving I ran over a squirrel. It was in front of three little girls at their lemonade stand. FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2009 at 12:23am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, we went out to dinner to a family restaurant, and I was wearing a skirt since it's so warm out. My 4 year old scooted under the table to sit next to his brother. When he popped up on the other side, he exclaimed, "Mommy! You forgot to put on your underwears!" People were staring. FML

by whoopsiedoodle / 05/21/2009 at 8:45am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, for my birthday, I got a Big Mac. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2009 at 4:09pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran for the train that was about to leave. I tried to hold the doors open with my leg and got stuck. The conductor just yelled out how unbelievable and ridiculous I was and waited 2 minutes to finally release me. Everyone was laughing at me. FML

by Noname / 03/14/2009 at 11:56pm / United States (New York) / Transportation