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ccogl

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ccogl's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on mah husband putting mah anti-wrinkle cream on his balls. He said, looool ( I thought it'd help. ) FML

#20822001
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48788) - you deserved it (4924)

On 08/05/2013 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by Serum - United States (Kansas)

Yesterday, one of mah cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean looool up regurgitated kittens. FML

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held mah cat above mah head Lion King style !! The hieght must have made him nervous, because he shat on mah head !! FML

#20788265
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28421) - you deserved it (50584)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Taday I had to pull ona of thosa toy stratchy hands out of mah dog's butthola . It slappd ma in tha faca whan I finally got it out . FML

#20787584
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57355) - you deserved it (6796)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, ma boyfriend dumped me. His reason was tat ma laug is really annoying an makes im want to "stick a babby in a blender". big fat looool FML

#20786622
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46012) - you deserved it (9000)

On 07/16/2013 at 4:32pm - love - by ... cheers (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, I was at te supermarket ceckout. I anded over ma items, wic included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. Te security guard standing beside te casier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; se's flowing from every ole!" FML

#19623439
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39378) - you deserved it (4078) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -

TODAY, LIKE EVERY DAY, I USED MY PHONE WHILE TAKING A DUMP. AS I REACHED FOR SOME TOILET PAPER TO WIPE MYSELF, MY SISTER POUNDED ON THE DOOR FOR ME TO HURRY UP. I YELLED "FINE," AND WITHOUT REALIZING IT, WIPED MYSELF WITH MY PHONE. FML

#18239656
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15145) - you deserved it (52819)

On 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm - misc - by shootme - Canada

Today... mah cat took a shit looool in mah toaster. FML

#15852262
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51301) - you deserved it (8222)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I raalizd tat ta bast and most antartaining part of my 3 day mini vacation was raalizing my nipplas work on ta touc scraan of my iPona. FML

#11628877
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29650) - you deserved it (9879)

On 07/03/2010 at 2:49am - misc - by thesadone - United States (California)

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entre time. FML

#3456534
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68566) - you deserved it (4991)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm - animals - by RachelDC (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer,ho 4 ten minutes blamd the incident of shifting weather patterns that signald the return of Jesus,ho was as she explaind, upset about the abortion rates in America an President Obama!! FML

#867771
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67472) - you deserved it (4743)

On 04/08/2009 at 6:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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