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cberry427

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cberry427
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 673
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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cberry427's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML

#21113687
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43994) - you deserved it (6239)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43551) - you deserved it (4601)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, my bathroom flooded. I frantically cleaned my apartment as fast as I could before the plumber arrived. Everything was finally clean when I let him in. It wasn't until after he finished that I noticed I'd left my anal beads in the shower. There's no way he didn't notice. FML

#20634924
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25789) - you deserved it (51391)

On 05/01/2013 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML

#19587857
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18834) - you deserved it (7569)

On 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by me (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

#19561833
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11267) - you deserved it (38079) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I was leaning over a fence in a pasture to get a closer look at something. Nobody warned my nuts that it was an electric fence. FML

#19355667
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16898) - you deserved it (8966)

On 03/27/2012 at 1:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I learned why the phrase "seafood taco salad" terrifies everyone in the school's cafeteria. What happened to me after eating it made Saw III look like a Disney movie. FML

#19352692
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16326) - you deserved it (2934)

On 03/26/2012 at 6:21pm - health - by Mandy - United States

Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML

#19349740
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22763) - you deserved it (2424)

On 03/26/2012 at 5:11am - intimacy - by pmek - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

#19297004
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22424) - you deserved it (3982)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)

Today, a Russian guy came up to me on the train and informed me that I look exactly like a typical Russian woman. He then went on to explain that I even had enough fat to survive their cold winters. FML

#19275863
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19790) - you deserved it (3600)

On 03/14/2012 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML

#19124149
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23471) - you deserved it (3742)

On 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by Gavin - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I don't understand the bond between him and his stuffed goose. He's 36. FML

#19082479
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21115) - you deserved it (4710)

On 02/15/2012 at 12:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realised my girlfriend only has sex with me to make me exercise. FML

#18990200
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11907) - you deserved it (22465)

On 02/04/2012 at 5:16am - intimacy - by mattttbob - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I came home from work and went into the bathroom. I saw a poo on the toilet lid, and thinking it was a trick toy that my son had got to trick me, I picked it up. It wasn't a toy. FML

#18983389
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19005) - you deserved it (20653)

On 02/03/2012 at 10:49am - kids - by AvengedSevenX - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36944) - you deserved it (8388)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)



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