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cberry313

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cberry313

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cberry313's favorite FMLs

Today, I picked up a lady's dropped wallet and chased after her despite my sprained ankle. When I finally caught up with her, she smashed her chili sauce filled hotdog across my face and kicked me in the groin, accusing me of stealing her wallet. I was kept at the police station for 3 hours. FML

#17681011
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33620) - you deserved it (2392)

On 09/06/2011 at 3:40pm - misc - by fmlsrslyahhh - Singapore

Today, I was brushing my teeth. As a bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spit a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML

#16157104
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24392) - you deserved it (7751)

On 05/13/2011 at 11:41am - animals - by toothpastecat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

#13373695
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29750) - you deserved it (8934)

On 10/09/2010 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML

#3602440
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21893) - you deserved it (53027)

On 07/09/2009 at 2:21am - health - by Fattypatty (man) - United States (California)



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