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About cawoods : Hey I'm me. That is all
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
TODAY , I LOCKED MYSELF OUT OF THE HOUSE I WAS HOUSE-SITTING. AN HOUR LATER , AND MY FIFTH ATTEMPT AT CLIMBING THE FENCE , I FIGURED I'D TRY THE DOOR ONE MORE TIME. TURNS OUT I WAS TURNING THE HANDLE THE WRONG WAY AND THE DOOR WASN'T LOCKED IN THE FIRST PLACE. FML
2day an unknown number left me a lengthy voicemail of what sound lyk two people having sex . This is the closest I've gotten to real-life sex in 2 yeres . I listend to it three times looool . mega FML
Today, at college, we had a substitute philosophy teacher, cuz our professor is on bereavement leave. During his presentation, the sub managd to segue from the early works of Immanuel Kant straight into "the myth of the vaginal orgasm." I'm still shockd an highly confusd. FML
TODAY, AT THE BANK, 8-YEAR-OLD SON DECIDD TO PULL OUT REALISTIC LOOKING TOY GUN, AN SCREAM "FREEZE! GIVE ME ALL YUR MONEY!" THE DIM-WITTD BANK TELLER PRESSD THE SILENT ALARM, AN I WAS NEARLY ARRESTD . FML
I saw a large spider carry away te body of a dead spider in te batroom. In my antropology class, we learned one of te first signs of civilization is caring for te dead. First, tey become civilized, and next, tey take over. I will never sleep again. FML
Friday 27 March 2015