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cattturine

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cattturine

8Liked!

cattturinecattturine
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 29 February 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 293
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cattturine : I'm currently in college as a nursing major. I really like pizza and ice cream. I'm a dancer. I like to laugh.
I'm always up to have a good conversation! Message me or my snapchat is cat.lindsie :)

cattturine's page activity

Visits<b>BunchieRules</b> - 11 hours ago<b>Whiplash169</b> - yesterday at 9:04am<b>Manosapo</b> - yesterday at 7:29am<b>Bulldozer36</b> - yesterday at 1:23am<b>123765</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 12:59pm<b>RedNinjaTurtle</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 12:00pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 10:50am<b>meg13rocks</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 10:48am<b>brookenicolee29</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 10:18pm<b>Alicestraza</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 10:05pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 5:34pm<b>pataplop</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 1:51pm<b>sju91</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 11:55pm<b>justcause001</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 11:33pm<b>WillyWonkaaaa</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 4:37am<b>natalea_rae</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 10:34pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 8:35pm<b>HansAnFranz</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 7:21pm

Liked!<b>Manosapo</b> - yesterday at 4:54am<b>sju91</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 5:55am<b>pataplop</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 10:15am<b>aleximo</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 4:23am<b>arcticmonkeys28</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 8:37am<b>totallybananas</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 4:01am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 5:25pm<b>olpally</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 1:16am

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cattturine's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

#21265910
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33560) - you deserved it (5304)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31681) - you deserved it (3260)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML

#21261205
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34004) - you deserved it (4377)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, due to a hammer-related incident, instead of receiving glass ornaments as gifts from my trip to Venice, my friends will be receiving novelty postcards of Michelangelo's David's penis. FML

Today, my mom discovered a new way to get over her breakup: yodelling. FML

#21129926
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38458) - you deserved it (3125)

On 05/03/2014 at 7:51pm - misc - by shylahrc - United States

Today, my live-in mother-in-law brazenly swiped most of the money from my wallet, then walked out of the room as if nothing had happened. The worst thing is that my wife believes anything she says, so I can't do a damn thing about it. FML

#21060189
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39333) - you deserved it (4054)

On 02/14/2014 at 12:11pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I watched in horror as my dad picked up a dead centipede, placed it on his tongue, and then swallowed it. FML

#20896754
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37602) - you deserved it (3155)

On 09/26/2013 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I learned that my parrots now can shit horizontally when I found the wall next to the cage covered in feces. FML

Today, I was in the shower with my boyfriend, and things started to get heated. That's where it all went to hell; I slipped and fell, bringing down with me the curtain and grooming products, and putting my back out. There goes my sex life. FML

#20829515
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45704) - you deserved it (6642)

On 08/09/2013 at 6:23pm - intimacy - by hunchback of notre bite (woman) - Korea, Republic of

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML

#20583013
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52463) - you deserved it (11869)

On 04/10/2013 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML

#20199452
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22409) - you deserved it (2311)

On 12/10/2012 at 7:04pm - animals - by MoreActionThanMe - United States

Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML

#20182587
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6190) - you deserved it (42350)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:09pm - health - by Widowmaker - United States (Nevada)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37201) - you deserved it (4001)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

#19264126
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28020) - you deserved it (5915)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States

Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML

#17032745
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10447) - you deserved it (75540) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version



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