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cattturine

Offline (the 12/24/2015 at 8:54pm) | Search for a member

cattturine

35Fucked!

cattturinecattturine
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 29 February 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 878
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cattturine : My name is Catherine and I sleep a lot.

cattturine's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 8:08am<b>aaronsayshi</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 11:58pm<b>firefighter925</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 3:44pm<b>GolgiTendonOs</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 10:02pm<b>Kotine</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 10:34am<b>TheGreenEyedWolf</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 6:36am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 10:06pm<b>cba7</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 8:15pm<b>bps315</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 7:40am<b>RMfml33</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 5:35pm<b>Markovski</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 4:46pm<b>scottyboy417</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 2:19am<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 10:27pm<b>Chinhull</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 5:32pm<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 5:16pm<b>mdavis91pro</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 7:28am<b>lola4455</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 2:09am<b>Sarahch</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 10:48am

Fucked!<b>mdavis91pro</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 1:28pm<b>steven3677</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 7:07am<b>Lct1196</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 3:26pm<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 11:39pm<b>moron011</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 12:58am<b>marshm610</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 8:40am<b>crazy_loner</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 8:35pm<b>JPjenny</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 1:33pm<b>Markovski</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 5:42am<b>bps315</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 1:37am<b>iNewKid</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 12:53pm<b>Dougie_Bee</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 12:47pm<b>aaronsayshi</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 3:58am<b>Malcazar</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 8:25am<b>steve1122</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 5:19pm<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 2:59pm<b>Jake42100</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 3:19am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 9:48pm

cattturine's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of cattturine's badges

cattturine's favorite FMLs

Today, my father, who is not familiar with keyboards, had me register his new email account for him at the public library. His username choice? "Wang dang sweet poon tang". People heard. FML

#21488619
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20853) - you deserved it (1856)

On 11/05/2015 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, as I tried to parallel park at a busy spot downtown, a group of teens jumped in front of my car and started a slow clap. FML

#21482971
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21641) - you deserved it (2664)

On 10/22/2015 at 12:46pm - misc - by moonbears - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband ruined the laundry once again. He forgot to empty his pants pockets before washing them. Last time he left an ink pen in them. This time it was a strawberry. FML

#21432612
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24653) - you deserved it (2447)

On 06/27/2015 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

#21432533
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32823) - you deserved it (2371)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

#21368964
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45277) - you deserved it (20998)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

#21346857
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40025) - you deserved it (4303)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

#21342800
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44928) - you deserved it (2936)

On 01/23/2015 at 9:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my mom booked a family trip to Sweden. This would be great, if she hadn't asked me to tell our former German exchange student that we were coming to visit her in Germany. She was thrilled. Now I have to be the one to let her down. FML

#21305750
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30042) - you deserved it (2577)

On 11/25/2014 at 11:14am - misc - by Blöde Gans - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke myself up by letting out a long fart. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't fallen asleep while on jury duty. FML

#21299443
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32296) - you deserved it (8942)

On 11/15/2014 at 8:25am - misc - by That_Indian_Guy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while having some "personal" time, I felt intense pleasure and moaned. I learned that my own moaning prevents me from reaching my peak. I'm my own turn off. FML

#21290790
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39985) - you deserved it (6338)

On 11/02/2014 at 8:31pm - intimacy - by SelfServiced - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my son mutter to himself, "If Hitler could do it to that many people, so could I..." Anyone recommend a good psychiatrist? FML

#21290608
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36001) - you deserved it (3502)

On 11/02/2014 at 3:57pm - kids - by failure (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML

#21271608
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42621) - you deserved it (19141)

On 10/05/2014 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46247) - you deserved it (6045)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

#21265910
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47158) - you deserved it (7909)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38633) - you deserved it (4035)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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