Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (10 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 29 February 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 273
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cattturine : I'm currently in college as a nursing major. I really like pizza and ice cream. I'm a dancer. I like to laugh.
I'm always up to have a good conversation! Message me or my snapchat is cat.lindsie :)

cattturine's page activity

Visits<b>flufee2</b> - 8 hours ago<b>alliegatorrrr</b> - 15 hours ago<b>natalea_rae</b> - yesterday at 1:30am<b>sju91</b> - yesterday at 1:12am<b>WorldWarAres</b> - yesterday at 10:21pm<b>kaya1001</b> - yesterday at 8:00pm<b>barneystinson45</b> - yesterday at 6:57pm<b>elibel</b> - yesterday at 3:57pm<b>aleximo</b> - yesterday at 1:23pm<b>pataplop</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 4:14am<b>totallybananas</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 10:02pm<b>utrax</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 6:05pm<b>Horsempeg</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 10:01am<b>NicH1799</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 10:32pm<b>Whiplash169</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 9:51pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 4:18pm<b>maxyutd</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 2:01pm<b>arcticmonkeys28</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 6:41pm

Liked!<b>pataplop</b> - yesterday at 10:15am<b>aleximo</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 4:23am<b>arcticmonkeys28</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 8:37am<b>totallybananas</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 4:01am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 5:25pm<b>olpally</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 1:16am

cattturine's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of cattturine's badges

cattturine's favorite FMLs

Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29176) - you deserved it (3806)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, due to a hammer-related incident, instead of receiving glass ornaments as gifts from my trip to Venice, my friends will be receiving novelty postcards of Michelangelo's David's penis. FML

Today, my mom discovered a new way to get over her breakup: yodelling. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38452) - you deserved it (3125)

On 05/03/2014 at 7:51pm - misc - by shylahrc - United States

Today, I watched in horror as my dad picked up a dead centipede, placed it on his tongue, and then swallowed it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37597) - you deserved it (3155)

On 09/26/2013 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I learned that my parrots now can shit horizontally when I found the wall next to the cage covered in feces. FML

Today, I was in the shower with my boyfriend, and things started to get heated. That's where it all went to hell; I slipped and fell, bringing down with me the curtain and grooming products, and putting my back out. There goes my sex life. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45688) - you deserved it (6642)

On 08/09/2013 at 6:23pm - intimacy - by hunchback of notre bite (woman) - Korea, Republic of

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML


I agree, your life sucks (52460) - you deserved it (11867)

On 04/10/2013 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22401) - you deserved it (2311)

On 12/10/2012 at 7:04pm - animals - by MoreActionThanMe - United States

Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML


I agree, your life sucks (6190) - you deserved it (42341)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:09pm - health - by Widowmaker - United States (Nevada)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37193) - you deserved it (4001)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML


I agree, your life sucks (28003) - you deserved it (5915)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States

Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML


I agree, your life sucks (10440) - you deserved it (75524) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to an amateur baseball game with some family and friends. When our team hit a home run, my grandpa took it upon himself to start screaming wildly, removing his prosthetic leg and waving it jubilantly in the air. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29554) - you deserved it (5015)

On 07/08/2011 at 9:24am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32262) - you deserved it (3127)

On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my parents told me about how they met. I'd already known they were eight years apart, but I never knew my dad started dating my mom when he was 21 and she was 13. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50203) - you deserved it (3561)

On 10/23/2010 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: