About caticaticati : My head is on straight and my heart is too big.
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caticaticati's favorite FMLs
Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML
by charliesangel123 / 02/21/2010 at 12:16pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Intimacy
by juwkgo / 02/17/2010 at 10:05am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by dreamteam / 02/08/2010 at 6:24am / United States / Love
Today, while my boyfriend and I were eating an icecream, he put his arm around me and began leaning in for what I thought was a kiss. Instead, he grabbed and began jiggling my stomach fat, along with making raspberry sounds. Once he was done, he did the same to my thighs. FML
by weirdlove / 01/23/2010 at 3:38am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love
Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML
by cold-n-stinky / 01/12/2010 at 1:30am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by brileyyyy / 01/11/2010 at 10:40pm / United States (Missouri) / Health
Today, I walked in on my parents necking in the living room. I promptly covered my eyes and muttered something about my innocence being stolen from me. My dad looked up from the couch, and mentioned that he had heard my innocence being stolen by Jake, my boyfriend from 2 years ago. FML
by Anonymous / 01/11/2010 at 9:25pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, the little boy I nanny for finally stood up and went 'pee-pee on the potty'. I started cheering and clapping, making a big deal out of it. I flushed while he smiled proudly and pooped on the floor. FML
by Anonymous / 01/11/2010 at 1:08pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by krisx3ftw / 01/11/2010 at 8:25am / United States (Virginia) / Love
by Hayley / 01/10/2010 at 10:37pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by wowhoopla / 01/10/2010 at 8:10pm / Miscellaneous
by daragnan / 01/10/2010 at 4:47pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Amber / 01/10/2010 at 12:17pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, I was wondering why my home smelled so weird, until I found out that my 4 year old son had been secretly scattering around food he didn't like to eat throughout the house. How did I find out? No one else in this family leaves half eaten spinach all over my underwear drawer. FML
by Anonymous / 01/10/2010 at 5:45am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
Today, I went to dinner with my mom and her new boyfriend. At the restaurant, while we were eating, he started clapping and singing "if you're happy and you know it." My mom joined in. And they sang loudly. Loud enough for the entire restaurant to go quiet and stare. FML
by 1thapp3ns / 01/09/2010 at 11:29pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I've found out that since beginning my new heavy workout regime, my testosterone levels have… Today, as usual, my boyfriend referred to his penis in the third person as "Mr. Willy". Even during… Today, in the middle of sex with my boyfriend, my visiting brother knocked on the door saying he'd…