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cassie94's favorite FMLs
by gunnerdog / 08/26/2013 at 8:22pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I found out someone has a crush on me. Normally I'd be fine with this, if it weren't for that fact that this guy informed me that he has collected pictures of me since the third grade. I'm turning 23 in two weeks. FML
by Suunflower_14 / 08/26/2013 at 5:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, my mom visited my new apartment for the first time. I was showing her the bedroom, when she looked into my opened sock drawer and said, "Using Durex, eh? Yeah, you were born 'cause a Trojan split." FML
by thanks mom ¬_¬ / 08/24/2013 at 6:05pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, my mother bitched me out for filing divorce papers against my abusive husband. According to her, it's a "slap in God's face". She's the one who's divorced two husbands so far because they weren't getting job promotions fast enough to support her hoarding habit. FML
by Anonymous / 08/24/2013 at 4:37pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the library. I had to use the restroom, where I ended up singing in bad, made-up Japanese the whole time. When I went back across the library, my brother informed me that everyone could clearly hear me. FML
by Singer_Song / 08/23/2013 at 1:04am / United States / Miscellaneous
by me / 08/21/2013 at 7:45pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Love
Today, I had a group presentation. I kept zipping my jacket up and down nervously. As I waited for my turn, I realized a bunch of classmates staring at me. I forgot that in the morning rush, I only put on a jacket. I only had a bra on underneath. FML
by xxSecretAngelxx / 08/19/2013 at 2:35pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Blink_me26 / 08/19/2013 at 12:50am / Australia (Victoria) / Money
by Anonymous / 08/18/2013 at 11:56pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, my sister had an emotional breakdown because two guys love her and she can't pick just one. Meanwhile I'm single and spend my time laying treats on my floor in a pattern and watching my rabbit run in circles. FML
by Having a pretty sister sucks. / 08/18/2013 at 9:36pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by Katthebamf / 08/18/2013 at 7:33pm / United Kingdom (York) / Work
Today, I accidentally hit an elderly man while driving. The police came, and five minutes later I was told that he confessed to walking in the middle of the road to get hit and claim compensation. He was fine, but I still got charged for hitting a pedestrian. FML
by FMLdude / 08/18/2013 at 7:23pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation
Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML
by Oh-Shit! / 08/10/2013 at 11:23am / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 6:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Kids
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, during a family dinner with my grandparents, I showed them some pictures. One was a picture… Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me that he listened to me yesterday: I said that I loved unusual… Today, returning home, I found my roommate trying one of my bras. When he saw my shocked face, the…