About cash_monkey72 : My life is as boring as shit, but it's still better than yours. You're probably here because either you enjoyed one of my comments, or because I offended you. If you enjoyed my comment, thank you for having a sense of humor. If I offended you, go fuck yourself. Oops, did I offend you again? I'm the guitarist/distorted vocals in a band. Some of the stuff we play: Black Veil Brides, Green Day, Avenged Sevenfold, Marilyn Manson, and that's about it. If you're into post-hardcore I would recommend checking out my cousin's band, As Animals Eat my Insides. If you've read this far, I'm a little creeped out, but I'm ok with it as long as you're a hot girl. If you feel like giving away random money, message me, because I would send it to a very good charity, my back pocket. In my opinion, there is no point in living if there won't be a zombie apocalypse.
The End
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18791) - you deserved it (2000)
On 09/07/2012 at 12:23pm - work - by PuddlePirate (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12180) - you deserved it (27857)
On 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by shelby124 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12180) - you deserved it (27857)
On 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by shelby124 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17852) - you deserved it (38114)
On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I took off my sweatshirt in the middle of class. The tanktop I was wearing underneath went with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23547) - you deserved it (5424)
On 02/02/2012 at 11:23pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years felt comfortable enough with me to disclose that he had previously spent 4 years in a mental institute because he tried to kill his mother. He also told me we will be together forever. I'm scared. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44268) - you deserved it (3638)
Today, someone broke into my house. They stole my TV, DVD player and a few DVDs. However they only took about 2 out of 100 DVDs. Apparently that's how bad my taste is in movies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18053) - you deserved it (4297)
On 08/23/2011 at 12:38pm - misc - by jarrettsorko - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I finally started doing cardio and getting in shape. What motivated me to do it? Watching a zombie movie. The slow ones bite the dust first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21610) - you deserved it (7041)
On 08/03/2011 at 12:55pm - health - by indierocklove - United States (Virginia)
Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28131) - you deserved it (6461)
On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24495) - you deserved it (4077)
On 06/09/2011 at 12:06am - work - by grant b - United States (Texas)
Today, my toddler stood up in the shopping cart and fell giving himself a black eye. Later while at a restaurant he tried to stand up in his highchair. I quickly blurted out "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. Now the waiter wont stop glaring at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33203) - you deserved it (7632)
On 12/15/2010 at 12:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61101) - you deserved it (3615)
On 07/23/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by Rory (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, McDonalds charged me 21 cents for a honey mustard packet. The jerk manager made me break a $50 bill. So I grabbed all their napkins, carried them into the parking lot and tossed them all into the air in protest and drove off. Down the road, I realized I left my wallet at the counter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10100) - you deserved it (57672)
On 06/22/2009 at 12:18pm - misc - by Jesse (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was in the supermarket and I see this little boy trying to reach for something on the top shelf. I go over to him and ask if his mom knows where he is. The boy turns around. He was actually a very angry midget. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24614) - you deserved it (41262)
On 04/17/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by jules (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was just wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and um...stuff. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71050) - you deserved it (10854)
On 03/01/2009 at 3:45am - health - by Monty (man) - United States (Oregon)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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