cartoonboy

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Offline (the 06/15/2015 at 10:37pm)

cartoonboy

5Fucked!

cartoonboycartoonboy
  • Town/Country : Denton, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 2 February 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1607
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About cartoonboy : I like cats.

cartoonboy's page activity

Visits<b>JimmyCongo</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 11:51pm<b>that_random_twin</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 8:27pm<b>chriszoom328</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 12:51am<b>ShawnC06</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 11:54pm<b>RagingGhost</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 10:41pm<b>spiers1</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 1:44pm<b>personthing</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 7:43pm<b>Happy_Sauce1243</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 10:25pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 10:56pm<b>LukeTFML</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:27pm<b>bulletproof098</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 5:17pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 9:47pm<b>olillia</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 5:42am<b>thatsaturtle</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 1:20pm<b>Kidjazzin</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 3:58pm<b>rairai</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 5:31am<b>Jennandco</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 10:50am<b>cindyylol</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 12:37pm

Fucked!<b>that_random_twin</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 2:27am<b>thatsaturtle</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 7:21pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 3:21am<b>mwali02</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 1:35am<b>JuzReading</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 1:09pm

cartoonboy's FML badges

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cartoonboy's favorite FMLs

Today, I fell asleep while working the night shift. It took me 3 hours and a whole lot of dirty looks while walking home before I looked in a mirror and saw my cockbite of a coworker had drawn a swastika on my forehead while I was asleep. FML

by pop, pop / 05/08/2015 at 11:44am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my mom announced my pregnancy to the entire family via Facebook with the post, "Just went from a MILF to a GILF in one moment of unprotected sex." FML

Today, I found out that, given the correct velocity, a used condom can actually fly through a tiny window and slap you on the leg. I also found out that when you go to the window to yell at the perpetrator, they might have more ammunition. FML

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my boyfriend when he started squeezing me as if I were a ketchup bottle. He said he wanted my period to end quicker, and he honestly thought that would work. FML

by Keladrylady / 04/17/2015 at 8:47pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up and attacked my face. FML

by birdsterrifyme / 03/23/2015 at 12:42am / United States (Missouri) / Animals

Today, during a meal out with my team and bosses, I wasn't drinking. The waiter complained, "If you're not ordering alcohol, how am I supposed to take advantage of you later?" I'm not sure what's worse, the rapey pre-dinner joke or the awkward silence as my colleagues looked on. FML

by pabj208 / 03/05/2015 at 7:07pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was on my way to work when my ex-wife drove past me in the car she got from me. She fucked me over so hard in the divorce that I have to ride my bike to work while wearing a full suit. FML

by D: / 02/19/2015 at 3:45pm / United States (Colorado) / Money

Today, I was at a family gathering with my boyfriend. Jokingly, my grandmother swatted my butt to get me to move. Out of habit, I moaned quite loudly. FML

by heymacie / 02/19/2015 at 12:45am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML

by jessybear777 / 02/14/2015 at 10:41pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I was getting a haircut. During the haircut, the barber cut her hand. She hesitated for a minute then continued to run her hands through and cut my hair with her bloody fingers. FML

by Animaldude55 / 01/27/2015 at 6:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying something new. I ended up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML

by anonymous / 01/11/2015 at 2:10pm / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't talk to me. I'm a massage/physical therapist and treat clients, mostly athletes, in my home. My neighbours saw the steady stream of young, buff guys coming to my house and concluded that I'm a gay prostitute. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2014 at 10:34pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I was rushed to the emergency room in crippling pain, thanks to a very dangerous cluster of cysts on my ovaries that could rupture at any time. My boyfriend took this news as my way of denying him sex and broke up with me for "going to obscene lengths" to emasculate him. FML

by Twysted91 / 12/27/2014 at 10:50pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my vegan girlfriend openly admitted that she'd let me die if she had to choose between saving my life or an animal's. She actually seemed confused as to why that upset me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/13/2014 at 8:14pm / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, my husband and I told my parents I was pregnant with my first child. The only thing my father did was look at my husband and tell him his pull out game was weak. FML

by wtfdad / 11/16/2014 at 12:29am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids