About cartoonboy : I like cats.
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cartoonboy's favorite FMLs
Today, I fell asleep while working the night shift. It took me 3 hours and a whole lot of dirty looks while walking home before I looked in a mirror and saw my cockbite of a coworker had drawn a swastika on my forehead while I was asleep. FML
by pop, pop / 05/08/2015 at 11:44am / United States (California) / Work
by Ixlovexwaffles / 04/29/2015 at 4:33pm / Intimacy
Today, I found out that, given the correct velocity, a used condom can actually fly through a tiny window and slap you on the leg. I also found out that when you go to the window to yell at the perpetrator, they might have more ammunition. FML
by Attacksloth / 04/23/2015 at 6:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Keladrylady / 04/17/2015 at 8:47pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy
by birdsterrifyme / 03/23/2015 at 12:42am / United States (Missouri) / Animals
Today, during a meal out with my team and bosses, I wasn't drinking. The waiter complained, "If you're not ordering alcohol, how am I supposed to take advantage of you later?" I'm not sure what's worse, the rapey pre-dinner joke or the awkward silence as my colleagues looked on. FML
by pabj208 / 03/05/2015 at 7:07pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Work
by D: / 02/19/2015 at 3:45pm / United States (Colorado) / Money
by heymacie / 02/19/2015 at 12:45am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML
by jessybear777 / 02/14/2015 at 10:41pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by Animaldude55 / 01/27/2015 at 6:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 01/11/2015 at 2:10pm / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy
Today, my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't talk to me. I'm a massage/physical therapist and treat clients, mostly athletes, in my home. My neighbours saw the steady stream of young, buff guys coming to my house and concluded that I'm a gay prostitute. FML
by Anonymous / 12/30/2014 at 10:34pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
Today, I was rushed to the emergency room in crippling pain, thanks to a very dangerous cluster of cysts on my ovaries that could rupture at any time. My boyfriend took this news as my way of denying him sex and broke up with me for "going to obscene lengths" to emasculate him. FML
by Twysted91 / 12/27/2014 at 10:50pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/13/2014 at 8:14pm / Australia (Victoria) / Love
by wtfdad / 11/16/2014 at 12:29am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
- Today, while in a CROWDED restaurant, my mother asked my grandfather what he was going in to order.… Today, I walked into a restaurant and caught my Dad having lunch with his other daughter. Not only… Today, I saved up enough money to get my phone fixed because the screen had broke. Excited leaving…
- Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only…