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carrieislost

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carrieislost

19Fucked!

carrieislostcarrieislost
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 16 December 1987 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1941
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About carrieislost : Go Royals! 💙💙💙

By the way: don't get butthurt and keep sending me message after message after message when I don't respond, like a total creep. It's just FML and I have a life to attend to.

carrieislost's page activity

Visits<b>Bonngoo</b> - 14 hours ago<b>9onbreak78</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 2:42pm<b>lesnotbehonest</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 9:49pm<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 7:19am<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 4:31am<b>kyletg09</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 8:16pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 9:52am<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 1:37am<b>hare</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 10:19pm<b>WoodKiller</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 12:34am<b>sweetgurl1985</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 11:25pm<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 10:27am<b>Tiger88255</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 12:01pm<b>Cyntha</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 10:59pm<b>Jake42100</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 6:48pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 3:13pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 12:04am<b>jgPepsi</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 6:26pm

Fucked!<b>Bonngoo</b> - 8 hours ago<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 6:59am<b>lesnotbehonest</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 3:58pm<b>WoodKiller</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 6:34am<b>Tiger88255</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 6:01pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 7:38am<b>tiger820</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 5:00pm<b>hussamhasi</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 9:22pm<b>A07</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 6:52am<b>JMCJester69</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 6:31pm<b>superuser1234</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 7:42am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 4:23am<b>thatoneguy1111</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 2:41pm<b>chrisseesyou</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 2:14pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 2:41am<b>gunnerblaster</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 9:12am<b>IceMan11</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 11:06am

carrieislost's FML badges

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See all of carrieislost's badges

carrieislost's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally heard a woman tell me "I've never seen one so big before!" Too bad it was my dentist talking about one of my cavities. FML

#21392914
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29056) - you deserved it (5495)

On 04/13/2015 at 11:40am - health - by gottaflossmoreoften (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, after telling my audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in my entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

#21380814
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28554) - you deserved it (2862)

On 03/24/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, it's been almost two months that I've been taking hair, skin and nails vitamins. The only thing growing noticeably longer, faster, stronger, and healthier are my pubes. I've never sheared a sheep before, but I imagine the maintenance I just did was comparable. FML

#21368822
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28269) - you deserved it (3141)

On 03/05/2015 at 6:34pm - health - by bushwhacker (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19723) - you deserved it (58508)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, apparently when you tell a hairdresser "A little off the sides." they hear "A bowl cut, please, and make it look extra stupid." FML

#21354162
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33401) - you deserved it (3453)

On 02/11/2015 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, I bought a small tub of coconut pieces in a bid to eat healthier snacks at work. I noticed that the chunks were a bit slimy, but thought nothing of it and kept eating. It wasn't until I reached the final few pieces that I noticed a huge black slug crawling across the bottom of the tub. FML

#21346678
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31977) - you deserved it (5461)

On 01/30/2015 at 6:00am - misc - by goodbyediet (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I told my dog to give me the stick he had in his mouth so I could throw it for him. After I picked it up I realized it was a dried-out piece of shit. FML

#21338477
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23467) - you deserved it (12948)

On 01/16/2015 at 7:37pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my husband confessed that when he's angry with me, he uses my makeup sponge to apply his hemorrhoid cream. FML

#21336401
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35959) - you deserved it (4101)

On 01/13/2015 at 12:42pm - love - by Maiar (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was brushing my teeth. When it came time for me to spit, I absentmindedly opened the bathroom drawer and spat in there instead of in the sink. FML

#21328982
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26697) - you deserved it (12262)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:38pm - misc - by 30000 - United States (California)

Today, my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't talk to me. I'm a massage/physical therapist and treat clients, mostly athletes, in my home. My neighbours saw the steady stream of young, buff guys coming to my house and concluded that I'm a gay prostitute. FML

#21327463
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35987) - you deserved it (2869)

On 12/30/2014 at 10:34pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my only child introduced his new girlfriend to me. He is 36 and has no children. She is 46 and has a pregnant daughter who she is very close with. I don't know if I'll ever be a grandfather, but in any case, my son is going to be one before me. FML

#21308718
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31350) - you deserved it (2700)

On 11/30/2014 at 12:29pm - kids - by Greatgrandpa (man) - Curacao

Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML

#21292742
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39011) - you deserved it (9689)

On 11/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43689) - you deserved it (13255)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I dressed up as my friend for Halloween. He has a very distinct style and I thought my costume was pretty clever. When he saw me, he said he had never been so offended in his entire life, and now I feel like a complete asshole. FML

#21289474
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30997) - you deserved it (15569)

On 11/01/2014 at 1:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

#21288917
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34844) - you deserved it (3168)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:55am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)



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