carrieislost

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carrieislost

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carrieislostcarrieislost
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 16 December 1987 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2959
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About carrieislost : Go Royals! 💙💙💙

Horror movie enthusiast
Bibliophile
Old school video games rock my world
Lover of all things mystical, magical and macabre.

carrieislost's page activity

Visits<b>beachbum561fla</b> - the 11/03/2016 at 2:37pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/03/2016 at 6:26am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 11/03/2016 at 3:40am<b>jogihoppa8343</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 12:19am<b>delichick</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 3:44pm<b>hare</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 12:56pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 8:31pm<b>pred8885</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 10:00pm<b>chewsef</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 1:49pm<b>Wane8822</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 3:57am<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 10:03pm<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 5:14pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 10:28am<b>jordanwilbanks</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 11:20am<b>burgersnchips</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 3:11am<b>Tripartita</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 12:54pm<b>captain_hero89</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 1:22pm<b>generalbirdman</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 12:44pm

Fucked!<b>jogihoppa8343</b> - the 09/17/2016 at 7:27pm<b>delichick</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 9:42pm<b>sosco07</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 8:02pm<b>four0seven</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 8:28am<b>iamdman</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 8:54pm<b>vaas90</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 8:50am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 2:05am<b>Xxbeardsley</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 5:21am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 3:42pm<b>chewsef</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 4:27am<b>playhard_1359</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 4:05am<b>mehibud</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 3:48am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 4:27am<b>dominguez89</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 9:59am<b>Jake42100</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 7:06am<b>Xeivan</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 6:02pm<b>Arnoud</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 6:36am<b>samrompain</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 2:59am

carrieislost's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of carrieislost's badges

carrieislost's favorite FMLs

Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML

by MyBallsForSaleOnEbay / 08/21/2015 at 11:25am / Malta / Kids

Today, I woke up panting and drenched in sweat from a horrible nightmare. I'd been dreaming that bright, colored shapes were falling from the sky and I couldn't make them all neatly align with one another on the ground. I guess I should stop playing so much Tetris before bed. FML

by I love L / 08/08/2015 at 6:56pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2015 at 10:06am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was relaxing in bed with an arm kind of behind my head, when I noticed a huge spider resting on my armpit. My sister said my screaming sounded like a "witch being burned to death" for all of 5 seconds before I realized the "spider" was just my armpit hair. FML

by fack / 07/29/2015 at 10:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to call a coworker to the office via the store intercom. The damn thing didn't turn off properly and everyone heard me say "I hate that asshole. Just be where your dumb ass should be." I realized my mistake a few seconds before my manager stormed in and threatened to fire me. FML

by suspended / 07/24/2015 at 8:59pm / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, I accidentally texted the girl I like, "Oh god, I just choked on a boner." I meant bone. FML

by Boneo and Juliet / 07/16/2015 at 3:22pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my coworker decided to give me "the talk". I'm 21 and not a virgin, yet most of what she said was new to me. FML

by poorlyparented / 06/16/2015 at 8:05am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I underwent surgery and feeling rather groggy upon being awoken, I very loudly declared, "I've always had a thing for doctors. Kiss me?" then promptly giggled, tried to launch myself in a random doctor's arms and fell flat on my face. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2015 at 3:43pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, I found out my dog's new favorite game to play: "If you don't stop petting me, I'll bite your balls as hard as I can." FML

by FMLintheanus / 05/27/2015 at 12:29am / United States (Indiana) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend of a week showed me her talent: shooting milk out of her vagina across the room. Goodbye dairy products. FML

by zzarzzur / 05/22/2015 at 2:55am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I saw a real, erect penis for the first time. My brother's, while he was jerking off. He doesn't know I saw, because he was holding a pair of panties over his face with his other hand. I'm trying like hell to act like I'm not mentally scarred. FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2015 at 12:58pm / Australia / Intimacy

Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML

by -_- / 05/13/2015 at 12:00pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my job in a gas station, a customer who had previously driven off without paying came in to shout abuse at me because I had said in the police statement, "He looks about 60." He is apparently 55. He didn't come in to pay, he came in to swear at me. FML

by GotGasNotLuck / 05/05/2015 at 6:50am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I got screamed at to the point of tears by a Starbucks employee for "giving an obviously fake name" to confuse one of the employees. I told her my real name. My name is Ian. FML

by to_complicated_4_u / 05/04/2015 at 12:28pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous