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carrieislost

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carrieislost

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carrieislostcarrieislost
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1088
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About carrieislost : .

carrieislost's page activity

Visits<b>IceMan11</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 10:45am<b>TheBeast26</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 12:08am<b>andrewhoyt</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 9:24am<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 6:39pm<b>KhazKhazz</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 4:26am<b>Dramori</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 5:05am<b>Sebastian2022</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 12:06am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 10:28pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 9:43pm<b>codytallica</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 9:06pm<b>toxicLover28</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 5:50pm<b>TheSwegMaster69</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 1:39pm<b>umerin</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 2:32am<b>totallybananas</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 1:10am<b>abylenee_</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 9:23pm<b>adrianvons</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 3:16am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 9:41pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 2:35pm

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Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of carrieislost's badges

carrieislost's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

#21067130
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49940) - you deserved it (4039)

On 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm - misc - by BakedBat (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

#21058991
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48744) - you deserved it (17746)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I woke up to every window in my house packed with snow. It was so bad that I thought I'd been snowed-in, and I started freaking out. It took two hours and multiple phone calls before I found out that my neighbor had taken our prank war too seriously and staged the whole thing. FML

#21015630
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36834) - you deserved it (11952)

On 01/03/2014 at 4:04pm - misc - by thanks.... (man) - United States

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

#21008605
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46062) - you deserved it (3640)

On 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonomous - United States (Vermont)

Today, I learned, 90 horrifying minutes into a college exam, that my 85-year-old calculus teacher had spent the last three weeks teaching us the wrong chapter. FML

#20997770
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45639) - you deserved it (2768)

On 12/19/2013 at 4:09am - work - by wasted time - United States

Today, my dog got out of the house. I was running after him and remembered the old "pretend you're hurt" trick. I got on the ground, and cried out as if I was hurt. My dog just kept running. FML

Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating because according to him, our child does not have his hair color, eye color, or other facial features. Our son is five days old, bald and hasn't opened his eyes much. The closest thing I can probably compare him to is an old, wrinkly potato. FML

#20912171
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53779) - you deserved it (4235)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:55am - kids - by thisguy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

#20910543
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44577) - you deserved it (7482)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

#20908715
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42981) - you deserved it (3602)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:34pm - animals - by animal lover... -

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43211) - you deserved it (7351)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54926) - you deserved it (6352)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I knocked over a display case at a mall, shattering hundreds of dollars in goods. Embarrassed, I tried to scurry out of the nearest door without being seen. I scuttled right into the janitor's closet, the door automatically locking behind me. I waited for an hour to be let out. FML

#20784911
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22296) - you deserved it (43655)

On 07/15/2013 at 7:36pm - money - by Jer (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was marking exams. I then had to explain to many of the students that (a) pigs are not aquatic animals and (b) sharks do not have lungs. These are university students. FML

#20784658
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42605) - you deserved it (3699)

On 07/15/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by lame-o-prof (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that the catchy Japanese song I've been obsessed with for the past week is actually about a dildo. FML

Today, I came home from college to find my favorite silk nightie that I had left behind being modeled by Bernie, the family dog. Nobody will admit to who put it on him. I don't know what's worse, that my family is a bunch of assholes, or that my nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. FML

#20129867
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19397) - you deserved it (3322)

On 10/23/2012 at 2:05pm - misc - by nicedoggy (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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