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carrieislost

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carrieislost

3Fucked!

carrieislostcarrieislost
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1461
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About carrieislost : .

carrieislost's page activity

Visits<b>IceMan11</b> - 14 hours ago<b>dirtbikeguy</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 11:58pm<b>gunnerblaster</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 3:13am<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 10:12pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 9:49pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 12:29am<b>Christoph_Blaski</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 8:46am<b>mdwillow</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 12:52pm<b>tfriend3</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 9:58pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 8:38pm<b>Dramori</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 5:19am<b>codytallica</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 11:17am<b>mostfabofthemall</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 2:29am<b>TheBeast26</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 12:08am<b>andrewhoyt</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 9:24am<b>KhazKhazz</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 4:26am<b>Sebastian2022</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 12:06am<b>saocrates</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 9:43pm

Fucked!<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 2:41am<b>gunnerblaster</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 9:12am<b>IceMan11</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 11:06am

carrieislost's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of carrieislost's badges

carrieislost's favorite FMLs

Today, I dressed up as my friend for Halloween. He has a very distinct style and I thought my costume was pretty clever. When he saw me, he said he had never been so offended in his entire life, and now I feel like a complete asshole. FML

#21289474
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30009) - you deserved it (15026)

On 11/01/2014 at 1:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

#21288917
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31513) - you deserved it (2629)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:55am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML

#21285040
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37374) - you deserved it (6678)

On 10/25/2014 at 2:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

#21279204
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36310) - you deserved it (3797)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37345) - you deserved it (3926)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", honey. FML

#21253313
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40716) - you deserved it (3873)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by healthfreak - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

#21244858
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45393) - you deserved it (8077)

On 08/25/2014 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52671) - you deserved it (6882)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49187) - you deserved it (27868)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

#21180516
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50704) - you deserved it (14276)

On 06/19/2014 at 10:37am - love - by stopinthenameoflove - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was spinning some yarn around to make my new cat run in circles. After about 10 seconds, he stopped going in circles and went straight ahead, happily running several feet into the wall and knocking himself out. My bowel movements have more brain-power than this thing. FML

#21168476
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37207) - you deserved it (8911)

On 06/09/2014 at 5:45pm - animals - by jaqen h'garrrhghhgfgjhfuck (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, thanks to my phone's shitty predictive text combined with me being half-asleep, I accidentally offered my heartbroken buddy "oral support" if he ever needs it. FML

#21151390
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49297) - you deserved it (9656)

On 05/25/2014 at 5:23pm - intimacy - by whoops (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

#21151127
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49963) - you deserved it (7534)

On 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm - misc - by great 1st impression (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49725) - you deserved it (22306)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at a big Easter egg hunt, the kids found a wild bunny. Everyone smiled and "aww"ed, until my dog caught and ate it in front everyone. FML

#21118358
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44899) - you deserved it (5220)

On 04/20/2014 at 7:24pm - animals - by BetterThanChocolate (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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