carrieislost

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carrieislost

29Fucked!

carrieislostcarrieislost
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 16 December 1987 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2367
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About carrieislost : Go Royals! 💙💙💙

By the way: don't get butthurt and keep sending me message after message after message when I don't respond, like a total creep. It's just FML and I have a life to attend to.

carrieislost's page activity

Visits<b>chewsef</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 7:55pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 6:32am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 5:11pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 9:40am<b>missa8604</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 10:37pm<b>playhard_1359</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 10:05pm<b>OlRed</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 5:18pm<b>spiderwebb888</b> - the 06/02/2016 at 9:38am<b>homiwan</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 1:16am<b>Chris_1414</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 11:48pm<b>mehibud</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 1:28am<b>Itineranthuman</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 4:43pm<b>Shawn2095</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 3:45am<b>marshm610</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 1:37am<b>Jake42100</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 6:10pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 2:20pm<b>dominguez89</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 3:59am<b>Geary519</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 10:50pm

Fucked!<b>Toonice45</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 3:42pm<b>chewsef</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 4:27am<b>playhard_1359</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 4:05am<b>mehibud</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 3:48am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 4:27am<b>dominguez89</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 9:59am<b>Jake42100</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 7:06am<b>Xeivan</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 6:02pm<b>Arnoud</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 6:36am<b>samrompain</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 2:59am<b>Bonngoo</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 8:20pm<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 6:59am<b>lesnotbehonest</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 3:58pm<b>WoodKiller</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 6:34am<b>Tiger88255</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 6:01pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 7:38am<b>tiger820</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 5:00pm<b>hussamhasi</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 9:22pm

carrieislost's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

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carrieislost's favorite FMLs

Today, my coworker decided to give me "the talk". I'm 21 and not a virgin, yet most of what she said was new to me. FML

by poorlyparented / 06/16/2015 at 8:05am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I underwent surgery and feeling rather groggy upon being awoken, I very loudly declared, "I've always had a thing for doctors. Kiss me?" then promptly giggled, tried to launch myself in a random doctor's arms and fell flat on my face. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2015 at 3:43pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, I found out my dog's new favorite game to play: "If you don't stop petting me, I'll bite your balls as hard as I can." FML

by FMLintheanus / 05/27/2015 at 12:29am / United States (Indiana) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend of a week showed me her talent: shooting milk out of her vagina across the room. Goodbye dairy products. FML

by zzarzzur / 05/22/2015 at 2:55am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I saw a real, erect penis for the first time. My brother's, while he was jerking off. He doesn't know I saw, because he was holding a pair of panties over his face with his other hand. I'm trying like hell to act like I'm not mentally scarred. FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2015 at 12:58pm / Australia / Intimacy

Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML

by -_- / 05/13/2015 at 12:00pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my job in a gas station, a customer who had previously driven off without paying came in to shout abuse at me because I had said in the police statement, "He looks about 60." He is apparently 55. He didn't come in to pay, he came in to swear at me. FML

by GotGasNotLuck / 05/05/2015 at 6:50am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I got screamed at to the point of tears by a Starbucks employee for "giving an obviously fake name" to confuse one of the employees. I told her my real name. My name is Ian. FML

by to_complicated_4_u / 05/04/2015 at 12:28pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I read my 10-year-old sister's diary. That's how I found out about her disturbingly detailed plan to murder me, make it look like suicide, date my boyfriend after helping him get over my death, then marry him. FML

by Anonymus / 04/18/2015 at 3:01am / Sweden / Kids

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

by ThatSlappinBass / 04/17/2015 at 10:00pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I finally heard a woman tell me "I've never seen one so big before!" Too bad it was my dentist talking about one of my cavities. FML

by gottaflossmoreoften / 04/13/2015 at 11:40am / Romania (Bucuresti) / Health

Today, after telling my audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in my entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

by Anonymous / 03/24/2015 at 4:52pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, it's been almost two months that I've been taking hair, skin and nails vitamins. The only thing growing noticeably longer, faster, stronger, and healthier are my pubes. I've never sheared a sheep before, but I imagine the maintenance I just did was comparable. FML

by bushwhacker / 03/05/2015 at 6:34pm / United States (Kansas) / Health

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, apparently when you tell a hairdresser "A little off the sides." they hear "A bowl cut, please, and make it look extra stupid." FML

by Anonymous / 02/11/2015 at 3:40pm / France (Bretagne) / Miscellaneous