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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 16 December 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1701
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About carrieislost : Go Royals! 💙💙💙

By the way: don't get butthurt and keep sending me message after message after message when I don't respond, like a total creep. It's just FML and I have a life to attend to.

carrieislost's page activity

Visits<b>Mons</b> - 18 hours ago<b>superuser1234</b> - yesterday at 12:03am<b>Live4funny</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 9:33am<b>JZAMORA777</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 3:40am<b>thatoneguy1111</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 1:27am<b>AscendV</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 10:40pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 9:22pm<b>Idiotskillme</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 12:36am<b>andrewhoyt</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 10:46pm<b>Neut</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 1:10pm<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 4:39pm<b>Necropool</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 2:49pm<b>soccerforlife_27</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 4:07pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 6:00am<b>gunnerblaster</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 10:52pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 10:24am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 7:22pm<b>1Personation</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 11:56am

Fucked!<b>superuser1234</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 7:42am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 4:23am<b>thatoneguy1111</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 2:41pm<b>chrisseesyou</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 2:14pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 2:41am<b>gunnerblaster</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 9:12am<b>IceMan11</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 11:06am

carrieislost's FML badges


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Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of carrieislost's badges

carrieislost's favorite FMLs

Today, my coworker decided to give me "the talk". I'm 21 and not a virgin, yet most of what she said was new to me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29570) - you deserved it (5240)

On 06/16/2015 at 8:05am - intimacy - by poorlyparented - United States (Texas)

Today, I underwent surgery and feeling rather groggy upon being awoken, I very loudly declared, "I've always had a thing for doctors. Kiss me?" then promptly giggled, tried to launch myself in a random doctor's arms and fell flat on my face. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26440) - you deserved it (4639)

On 06/12/2015 at 3:43pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I found my boyfriend and his friends laughing hysterically and practically choking on popcorn. They were watching a video of me in a school play, trying to sing while sobbing because I'd just pissed my pants in front of 200 people. Thanks for giving him the video, mom. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31435) - you deserved it (2557)

On 06/07/2015 at 5:46am - misc - by .......... (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out my dog's new favorite game to play: "If you don't stop petting me, I'll bite your balls as hard as I can." FML

Today, my girlfriend of a week showed me her talent: shooting milk out of her vagina across the room. Goodbye dairy products. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31300) - you deserved it (3975)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:55am - intimacy - by zzarzzur (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a real, erect penis for the first time. My brother's, while he was jerking off. He doesn't know I saw, because he was holding a pair of panties over his face with his other hand. I'm trying like hell to act like I'm not mentally scarred. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35228) - you deserved it (3685)

On 05/18/2015 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31876) - you deserved it (2981)

On 05/13/2015 at 12:00pm - misc - by -_- (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at my job in a gas station, a customer who had previously driven off without paying came in to shout abuse at me because I had said in the police statement, "He looks about 60." He is apparently 55. He didn't come in to pay, he came in to swear at me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31263) - you deserved it (2068)

On 05/05/2015 at 6:50am - work - by GotGasNotLuck (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I read my 10-year-old sister's diary. That's how I found out about her disturbingly detailed plan to murder me, make it look like suicide, date my boyfriend after helping him get over my death, then marry him. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40084) - you deserved it (5177)

On 04/18/2015 at 3:01am - kids - by Anonymus (woman) - Sweden

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

Today, I finally heard a woman tell me "I've never seen one so big before!" Too bad it was my dentist talking about one of my cavities. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28727) - you deserved it (5457)

On 04/13/2015 at 11:40am - health - by gottaflossmoreoften (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, after telling my audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in my entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (28164) - you deserved it (2820)

On 03/24/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, it's been almost two months that I've been taking hair, skin and nails vitamins. The only thing growing noticeably longer, faster, stronger, and healthier are my pubes. I've never sheared a sheep before, but I imagine the maintenance I just did was comparable. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27939) - you deserved it (3111)

On 03/05/2015 at 6:34pm - health - by bushwhacker (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19547) - you deserved it (57920)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, apparently when you tell a hairdresser "A little off the sides." they hear "A bowl cut, please, and make it look extra stupid." FML


I agree, your life sucks (33072) - you deserved it (3419)

On 02/11/2015 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - France (Bretagne)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

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  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

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