carrieislost

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carrieislost

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carrieislostcarrieislost
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 16 December 1987 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2963
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About carrieislost : Go Royals! 💙💙💙

Horror movie enthusiast
Bibliophile
Old school video games rock my world
Lover of all things mystical, magical and macabre.

carrieislost's page activity

Visits<b>beachbum561fla</b> - the 11/03/2016 at 2:37pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/03/2016 at 6:26am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 11/03/2016 at 3:40am<b>jogihoppa8343</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 12:19am<b>delichick</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 3:44pm<b>hare</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 12:56pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 8:31pm<b>pred8885</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 10:00pm<b>chewsef</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 1:49pm<b>Wane8822</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 3:57am<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 10:03pm<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 5:14pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 10:28am<b>jordanwilbanks</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 11:20am<b>burgersnchips</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 3:11am<b>Tripartita</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 12:54pm<b>captain_hero89</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 1:22pm<b>generalbirdman</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 12:44pm

Fucked!<b>jogihoppa8343</b> - the 09/17/2016 at 7:27pm<b>delichick</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 9:42pm<b>sosco07</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 8:02pm<b>four0seven</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 8:28am<b>iamdman</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 8:54pm<b>vaas90</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 8:50am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 2:05am<b>Xxbeardsley</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 5:21am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 3:42pm<b>chewsef</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 4:27am<b>playhard_1359</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 4:05am<b>mehibud</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 3:48am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 4:27am<b>dominguez89</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 9:59am<b>Jake42100</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 7:06am<b>Xeivan</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 6:02pm<b>Arnoud</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 6:36am<b>samrompain</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 2:59am

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carrieislost's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered my cat is bathroom shy when I accidentally walked in on him relieving himself. He jumped about 3 feet in the air and bolted out, launching feces and pee all over the bathroom, hallway, and my shoes. FML

by poop / 03/24/2016 at 2:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, my father-in-law left my wedding reception because he had to feed the dog. This would have been alright, if he hadn't been absent for nearly two hours. Apparently, just feeding the dog and leaving would have hurt the animal's feelings so he stayed to play with him for a while. FML

by Anonymous / 03/20/2016 at 11:58am / Germany (Berlin) / Miscellaneous

Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML

by sweetie808 / 01/28/2016 at 3:39am / United States (Hawaii) / Animals

Today, I took a swig of my Dr Pepper while having a meeting with my manager. As soon as I was about to swallow, I began coughing, and spat a whole mouthful all over her face. FML

by westwoodcosmo / 01/27/2016 at 5:35pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, at my daughter's fundraiser, I noticed that a guy with a face only a fist could love kept staring at her. I said "Beautiful, isn't she?" Before I could tell him to keep it in his damned pants, he replied "Hah. She's my girlfriend, dude. Total beast in the sack." Complete news to me on both counts. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2016 at 11:35am / United States (Kansas) / Kids

Today, my friends and I were goofing off playing tag behind the local church, when I heard a banshee-like wail behind me. Assuming it was one of my friends, I wailed right back and ran. Turned out there was actually a funeral going on, and the wail was from one of the bereaved. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2016 at 8:30am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, after months of trying to train my cockatiel to perch on my finger, he finally trusted me enough to fly from his cage and land on my hand. I panicked and accidentally backhanded him across the room. FML

by parasheeeet / 01/13/2016 at 12:05pm / United States (Alabama) / Animals

Today, my mom decided that my hair was too long and that she was going to cut it. I now look like a male extra from Xanadu. FML

by ImTheAlpha / 12/23/2015 at 6:56pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML

by coolest_mom / 11/25/2015 at 1:00am / Kids

Today, while my husband was at work, he missed our son saying his first word ("Dada"), taking his first steps and smashing the widescreen TV with a well-aimed teddy bear. Care to guess which of these three things made my husband cry. FML

by michelle / 11/15/2015 at 10:21am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Kids

Today, I did such a bad job explaining the recent change from daylight savings time, that my 5-year-old son is now convinced that we're time travellers. FML

by badmom / 11/06/2015 at 12:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, after years of difficulty, I finally found the perfect shade of foundation that matches my ultra-pale complexion. It's called "Death Flesh." FML

by 2pale / 11/01/2015 at 1:22pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, while on a walk during lunch, I urgently needed to pee. Not thinking I could make it back to the office, I slipped into some bushes to relieve myself. As I was going, I looked to the side and saw two coworkers staring back at me. They were having sex, and I'm there with my dick out. Awkward. FML

by Embarrassed ass. / 10/23/2015 at 12:05am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, during dinner with my wife's family, my daughter suddenly yelled, "DADDY TICKLES MOMMY'S BUM BUM!" I don't think I've ever received dirtier glares in my life. FML

by shh / 10/09/2015 at 3:06am / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, in the middle of a presentation, I fought a shart, but the shart won. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2015 at 11:10am / United States (Florida) / Work