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carrieislost

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carrieislost

2Fucked!

carrieislostcarrieislost
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1310
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About carrieislost : .

carrieislost's page activity

Visits<b>mdwillow</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 12:52pm<b>gunnerblaster</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 3:11am<b>tfriend3</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 9:58pm<b>IceMan11</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 7:15am<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 8:38pm<b>Dramori</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 5:19am<b>codytallica</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 11:17am<b>mostfabofthemall</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 2:29am<b>TheBeast26</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 12:08am<b>andrewhoyt</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 9:24am<b>KhazKhazz</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 4:26am<b>Sebastian2022</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 12:06am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 10:28pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 9:43pm<b>toxicLover28</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 5:50pm<b>TheSwegMaster69</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 1:39pm<b>umerin</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 2:32am<b>totallybananas</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 1:10am

Fucked!<b>gunnerblaster</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 9:12am<b>IceMan11</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 11:06am

carrieislost's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of carrieislost's badges

carrieislost's favorite FMLs

Today, my coworker decided to give me "the talk". I'm 21 and not a virgin, yet most of what she said was new to me. FML

#21426929
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26422) - you deserved it (4440)

On 06/16/2015 at 8:05am - intimacy - by poorlyparented - United States (Texas)

Today, I underwent surgery and feeling rather groggy upon being awoken, I very loudly declared, "I've always had a thing for doctors. Kiss me?" then promptly giggled, tried to launch myself in a random doctor's arms and fell flat on my face. FML

#21425055
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24829) - you deserved it (4146)

On 06/12/2015 at 3:43pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had to endure the most mortifying ambulance ride of my life after my fiancé's cock ring got stuck on my tongue piercing. As I was trying not to choke or vomit, he actually high-fived one of the EMTs and tried to get him to take a picture on his phone. FML

#21424446
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29474) - you deserved it (8579)

On 06/11/2015 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by awkward - United Kingdom (Dumfries and Galloway)

Today, I found my boyfriend and his friends laughing hysterically and practically choking on popcorn. They were watching a video of me in a school play, trying to sing while sobbing because I'd just pissed my pants in front of 200 people. Thanks for giving him the video, mom. FML

#21422192
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30160) - you deserved it (2229)

On 06/07/2015 at 5:46am - misc - by .......... (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out my dog's new favorite game to play: "If you don't stop petting me, I'll bite your balls as hard as I can." FML

Today, my girlfriend of a week showed me her talent: shooting milk out of her vagina across the room. Goodbye dairy products. FML

#21413854
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28379) - you deserved it (3202)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:55am - intimacy - by zzarzzur (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a real, erect penis for the first time. My brother's, while he was jerking off. He doesn't know I saw, because he was holding a pair of panties over his face with his other hand. I'm trying like hell to act like I'm not mentally scarred. FML

#21411971
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32211) - you deserved it (2970)

On 05/18/2015 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML

#21409445
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31154) - you deserved it (2906)

On 05/13/2015 at 12:00pm - misc - by -_- (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at my job in a gas station, a customer who had previously driven off without paying came in to shout abuse at me because I had said in the police statement, "He looks about 60." He is apparently 55. He didn't come in to pay, he came in to swear at me. FML

#21404993
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29806) - you deserved it (1845)

On 05/05/2015 at 6:50am - work - by GotGasNotLuck (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I read my 10-year-old sister's diary. That's how I found out about her disturbingly detailed plan to murder me, make it look like suicide, date my boyfriend after helping him get over my death, then marry him. FML

#21395572
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38842) - you deserved it (5032)

On 04/18/2015 at 3:01am - kids - by Anonymus (woman) - Sweden

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

Today, I finally heard a woman tell me "I've never seen one so big before!" Too bad it was my dentist talking about one of my cavities. FML

#21392914
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27404) - you deserved it (5064)

On 04/13/2015 at 11:40am - health - by gottaflossmoreoften (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, after telling my audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in my entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

#21380814
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26457) - you deserved it (2530)

On 03/24/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, it's been almost two months that I've been taking hair, skin and nails vitamins. The only thing growing noticeably longer, faster, stronger, and healthier are my pubes. I've never sheared a sheep before, but I imagine the maintenance I just did was comparable. FML

#21368822
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26259) - you deserved it (10)

On 03/05/2015 at 6:34pm - health - by bushwhacker (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18781) - you deserved it (55552)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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