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carrieislost

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carrieislost

18Fucked!

carrieislostcarrieislost
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 16 December 1987 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1934
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About carrieislost : Go Royals! 💙💙💙

By the way: don't get butthurt and keep sending me message after message after message when I don't respond, like a total creep. It's just FML and I have a life to attend to.

carrieislost's page activity

Visits<b>lesnotbehonest</b> - 10 hours ago<b>battousai1995</b> - 19 hours ago<b>LadyLuck93</b> - yesterday at 7:19am<b>daveyyyyh</b> - yesterday at 4:31am<b>kyletg09</b> - yesterday at 8:16pm<b>tiger820</b> - yesterday at 9:52am<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 1:37am<b>hare</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 10:19pm<b>WoodKiller</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 12:34am<b>sweetgurl1985</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 11:25pm<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 10:27am<b>Tiger88255</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 12:01pm<b>Cyntha</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 10:59pm<b>Jake42100</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 6:48pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 3:13pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 12:04am<b>jgPepsi</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 6:26pm<b>gunnerblaster</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 10:08pm

Fucked!<b>daveyyyyh</b> - yesterday at 6:59am<b>lesnotbehonest</b> - yesterday at 3:58pm<b>WoodKiller</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 6:34am<b>Tiger88255</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 6:01pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 7:38am<b>tiger820</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 5:00pm<b>hussamhasi</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 9:22pm<b>A07</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 6:52am<b>JMCJester69</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 6:31pm<b>superuser1234</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 7:42am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 4:23am<b>thatoneguy1111</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 2:41pm<b>chrisseesyou</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 2:14pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 2:41am<b>gunnerblaster</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 9:12am<b>IceMan11</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 11:06am

carrieislost's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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See all of carrieislost's badges

carrieislost's favorite FMLs

Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML

#21520327
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23159) - you deserved it (1561)

On 01/28/2016 at 3:39am - animals - by sweetie808 - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I took a swig of my Dr Pepper while having a meeting with my manager. As soon as I was about to swallow, I began coughing, and spat a whole mouthful all over her face. FML

#21520140
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17655) - you deserved it (3279)

On 01/27/2016 at 5:35pm - work - by westwoodcosmo - United States (Arizona)

Today, at my daughter's fundraiser, I noticed that a guy with a face only a fist could love kept staring at her. I said "Beautiful, isn't she?" Before I could tell him to keep it in his damned pants, he replied "Hah. She's my girlfriend, dude. Total beast in the sack." Complete news to me on both counts. FML

#21520041
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24629) - you deserved it (2720)

On 01/27/2016 at 11:35am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, my friends and I were goofing off playing tag behind the local church, when I heard a banshee-like wail behind me. Assuming it was one of my friends, I wailed right back and ran. Turned out there was actually a funeral going on, and the wail was from one of the bereaved. FML

#21520005
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17461) - you deserved it (7046)

On 01/27/2016 at 8:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after months of trying to train my cockatiel to perch on my finger, he finally trusted me enough to fly from his cage and land on my hand. I panicked and accidentally backhanded him across the room. FML

#21514709
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16617) - you deserved it (17665)

On 01/13/2016 at 12:05pm - animals - by parasheeeet (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my mom decided that my hair was too long and that she was going to cut it. I now look like a male extra from Xanadu. FML

Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML

#21496534
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25523) - you deserved it (2650)

On 11/25/2015 at 1:00am - kids - by coolest_mom (woman) -

Today, while my husband was at work, he missed our son saying his first word ("Dada"), taking his first steps and smashing the widescreen TV with a well-aimed teddy bear. Care to guess which of these three things made my husband cry. FML

#21492751
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21105) - you deserved it (2543)

On 11/15/2015 at 10:21am - kids - by michelle (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I did such a bad job explaining the recent change from daylight savings time, that my 5-year-old son is now convinced that we're time travellers. FML

#21489205
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20699) - you deserved it (4419)

On 11/06/2015 at 12:02pm - kids - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after years of difficulty, I finally found the perfect shade of foundation that matches my ultra-pale complexion. It's called "Death Flesh." FML

#21486907
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22915) - you deserved it (2179)

On 11/01/2015 at 1:22pm - misc - by 2pale - United States (Texas)

Today, while on a walk during lunch, I urgently needed to pee. Not thinking I could make it back to the office, I slipped into some bushes to relieve myself. As I was going, I looked to the side and saw two coworkers staring back at me. They were having sex, and I'm there with my dick out. Awkward. FML

#21483245
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25545) - you deserved it (3565)

On 10/23/2015 at 12:05am - work - by Embarrassed ass. (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, during dinner with my wife's family, my daughter suddenly yelled, "DADDY TICKLES MOMMY'S BUM BUM!" I don't think I've ever received dirtier glares in my life. FML

#21477793
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23829) - you deserved it (2585)

On 10/09/2015 at 3:06am - kids - by shh (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, in the middle of a presentation, I fought a shart, but the shart won. FML

#21477505
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24880) - you deserved it (2652)

On 10/08/2015 at 11:10am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

#21470966
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29276) - you deserved it (2981)

On 09/21/2015 at 10:45am - misc - by Gassy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML

#21458825
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25424) - you deserved it (6718)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:25am - kids - by MyBallsForSaleOnEbay (man) - Malta



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