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carrieislost

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carrieislost

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 810
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About carrieislost : .

carrieislost's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 7:06pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 8:34pm<b>toxicLover28</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 5:50pm<b>IceMan11</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 8:53pm<b>Dramori</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 8:02am<b>TheSwegMaster69</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 1:39pm<b>umerin</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 2:32am<b>totallybananas</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 1:10am<b>abylenee_</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 9:23pm<b>Sebastian2022</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 2:53am<b>andrewhoyt</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 3:07pm<b>adrianvons</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 3:16am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 9:41pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 2:35pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 12:16am<b>krupa1017</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 11:12pm<b>zarosian</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 7:29pm<b>soccerforlife_27</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 10:19pm

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carrieislost's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my dog to give me the stick he had in his mouth so I could throw it for him. After I picked it up I realized it was a dried-out piece of shit. FML

#21338477
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20713) - you deserved it (12161)

On 01/16/2015 at 7:37pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my husband confessed that when he's angry with me, he uses my makeup sponge to apply his hemorrhoid cream. FML

#21336401
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32666) - you deserved it (3566)

On 01/13/2015 at 12:42pm - love - by Maiar (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was brushing my teeth. When it came time for me to spit, I absentmindedly opened the bathroom drawer and spat in there instead of in the sink. FML

#21328982
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24602) - you deserved it (11219)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:38pm - misc - by 30000 - United States (California)

Today, my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't talk to me. I'm a massage/physical therapist and treat clients, mostly athletes, in my home. My neighbours saw the steady stream of young, buff guys coming to my house and concluded that I'm a gay prostitute. FML

#21327463
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33139) - you deserved it (2637)

On 12/30/2014 at 10:34pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my only child introduced his new girlfriend to me. He is 36 and has no children. She is 46 and has a pregnant daughter who she is very close with. I don't know if I'll ever be a grandfather, but in any case, my son is going to be one before me. FML

#21308718
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28310) - you deserved it (2294)

On 11/30/2014 at 12:29pm - kids - by Greatgrandpa (man) - Curacao

Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML

#21292742
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35469) - you deserved it (8588)

On 11/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38196) - you deserved it (10778)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I dressed up as my friend for Halloween. He has a very distinct style and I thought my costume was pretty clever. When he saw me, he said he had never been so offended in his entire life, and now I feel like a complete asshole. FML

#21289474
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28412) - you deserved it (13905)

On 11/01/2014 at 1:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

#21288917
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31305) - you deserved it (2616)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:55am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML

#21285040
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33709) - you deserved it (5399)

On 10/25/2014 at 2:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

#21279204
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34524) - you deserved it (3456)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35766) - you deserved it (3655)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", honey. FML

#21253313
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40175) - you deserved it (3812)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by healthfreak - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

#21244858
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44198) - you deserved it (7890)

On 08/25/2014 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48715) - you deserved it (5607)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)



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  • Yes, we're late. We've been doing stuff, the New Year and our birthday party got in the way, but there's no excuse. So, we're sorry for not churning out another Best of the Worst in due…

Wednesday 28 January 2015

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