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carrieislost

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carrieislost

3Fucked!

carrieislostcarrieislost
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1460
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About carrieislost : .

carrieislost's page activity

Visits<b>IceMan11</b> - 13 hours ago<b>dirtbikeguy</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 11:58pm<b>gunnerblaster</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 3:13am<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 10:12pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 9:49pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 12:29am<b>Christoph_Blaski</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 8:46am<b>mdwillow</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 12:52pm<b>tfriend3</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 9:58pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 8:38pm<b>Dramori</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 5:19am<b>codytallica</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 11:17am<b>mostfabofthemall</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 2:29am<b>TheBeast26</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 12:08am<b>andrewhoyt</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 9:24am<b>KhazKhazz</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 4:26am<b>Sebastian2022</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 12:06am<b>saocrates</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 9:43pm

Fucked!<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 2:41am<b>gunnerblaster</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 9:12am<b>IceMan11</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 11:06am

carrieislost's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of carrieislost's badges

carrieislost's favorite FMLs

Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML

#21458825
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23716) - you deserved it (6113)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:25am - kids - by MyBallsForSaleOnEbay (man) - Malta

Today, I woke up panting and drenched in sweat from a horrible nightmare. I'd been dreaming that bright, colored shapes were falling from the sky and I couldn't make them all neatly align with one another on the ground. I guess I should stop playing so much Tetris before bed. FML

#21453585
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20830) - you deserved it (4447)

On 08/08/2015 at 6:56pm - misc - by I love L (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

#21452187
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22115) - you deserved it (4083)

On 08/05/2015 at 10:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was relaxing in bed with an arm kind of behind my head, when I noticed a huge spider resting on my armpit. My sister said my screaming sounded like a "witch being burned to death" for all of 5 seconds before I realized the "spider" was just my armpit hair. FML

#21449022
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20749) - you deserved it (9788)

On 07/29/2015 at 10:41am - misc - by fack (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to call a coworker to the office via the store intercom. The damn thing didn't turn off properly and everyone heard me say "I hate that asshole. Just be where your dumb ass should be." I realized my mistake a few seconds before my manager stormed in and threatened to fire me. FML

#21446728
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12755) - you deserved it (23908)

On 07/24/2015 at 8:59pm - work - by suspended (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I accidentally texted the girl I like, "Oh god, I just choked on a boner." I meant bone. FML

#21442630
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24328) - you deserved it (4293)

On 07/16/2015 at 3:22pm - misc - by Boneo and Juliet - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

#21442030
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33716) - you deserved it (2466)

On 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my coworker decided to give me "the talk". I'm 21 and not a virgin, yet most of what she said was new to me. FML

#21426929
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28401) - you deserved it (5046)

On 06/16/2015 at 8:05am - intimacy - by poorlyparented - United States (Texas)

Today, I underwent surgery and feeling rather groggy upon being awoken, I very loudly declared, "I've always had a thing for doctors. Kiss me?" then promptly giggled, tried to launch myself in a random doctor's arms and fell flat on my face. FML

#21425055
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25879) - you deserved it (4556)

On 06/12/2015 at 3:43pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I found my boyfriend and his friends laughing hysterically and practically choking on popcorn. They were watching a video of me in a school play, trying to sing while sobbing because I'd just pissed my pants in front of 200 people. Thanks for giving him the video, mom. FML

#21422192
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30238) - you deserved it (2235)

On 06/07/2015 at 5:46am - misc - by .......... (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out my dog's new favorite game to play: "If you don't stop petting me, I'll bite your balls as hard as I can." FML

Today, my girlfriend of a week showed me her talent: shooting milk out of her vagina across the room. Goodbye dairy products. FML

#21413854
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30341) - you deserved it (3851)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:55am - intimacy - by zzarzzur (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a real, erect penis for the first time. My brother's, while he was jerking off. He doesn't know I saw, because he was holding a pair of panties over his face with his other hand. I'm trying like hell to act like I'm not mentally scarred. FML

#21411971
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32475) - you deserved it (2989)

On 05/18/2015 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML

#21409445
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31189) - you deserved it (2911)

On 05/13/2015 at 12:00pm - misc - by -_- (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at my job in a gas station, a customer who had previously driven off without paying came in to shout abuse at me because I had said in the police statement, "He looks about 60." He is apparently 55. He didn't come in to pay, he came in to swear at me. FML

#21404993
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29850) - you deserved it (1848)

On 05/05/2015 at 6:50am - work - by GotGasNotLuck (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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