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carolinabreathin

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carolinabreathin
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 14 September 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 472
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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carolinabreathin's favorite FMLs

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29150) - you deserved it (5021) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML

#17854622
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28366) - you deserved it (5285)

On 09/28/2011 at 10:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML

#17853519
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32254) - you deserved it (2559)

On 09/28/2011 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Sabraynay -

Today, after five long years of having been together, my boyfriend told me that he wanted to take our relationship to the "next level". We now have a Sims relationship. FML

#17814910
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23607) - you deserved it (3372)

On 09/23/2011 at 6:24pm - love - by Anonymous - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53212) - you deserved it (5252)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML

#17664853
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21572) - you deserved it (8413)

On 09/04/2011 at 9:27pm - love - by ddll (man) - Singapore

Today, I went to a football game. During a time out, my face appeared on the Jumbotron during the Kiss Cam segment. I was sitting next to my mother. FML

#17657793
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26152) - you deserved it (2254)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized the closest thing I have to a love life is organizing my porn folder by category. FML

#17618254
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12881) - you deserved it (26649)

On 08/30/2011 at 1:20am - intimacy - by WithoutLove (man) - United States

Today, I went to my doctor for a check-up. It started with the doctor lifting my shirt up to check my heartbeat, and ended with my gran starting a fistfight over his "perverted ways." FML

#17592588
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24790) - you deserved it (2194)

On 08/27/2011 at 3:45am - health - by sad child - United States (New York)

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

#17589386
670 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25863) - you deserved it (37484)

On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

#17564993
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33282) - you deserved it (2973)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)

Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML

#17548776
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18678) - you deserved it (39368)

On 08/22/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, this girl who has been stalking me for almost 7 months sent me a 12 page text comparing her love for me with her passion for cheese. FML

#17547922
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30973) - you deserved it (3002)

On 08/22/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by Say Cheese - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finally realized the reason my son's grades have been dropping so much. Every time I drop him off at his tutor's house, they play Call of Duty until I pick him up. FML

#17534893
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29448) - you deserved it (5124)

On 08/21/2011 at 1:48am - kids - by callofdutyhater - United States (California)

Today, I finally lost my virginity. In my boyfriend's racecar bed. FML

#17534409
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27723) - you deserved it (36461)

On 08/21/2011 at 12:54am - intimacy - by Emily - United States (New York)



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