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carmenm's favorite FMLs
Today, as a part of my job, I took a couple around to look at houses that are on sale. After driving them around and looking at tons of houses, the wife said, "Okay. I think we have enough decorating ideas." FML
by Rachael / 06/30/2011 at 11:08pm / United States / Work
by budbunny13 / 06/30/2011 at 7:08pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, my mom insisted on putting sunscreen on me. I closed my eyes and shut my mouth while she rubbed some on my face. Halfway through, I burped. I opened my mouth just in time to get a large glob of sunscreen in it. FML
by Unbearable / 06/25/2011 at 3:58pm / United States (New York) / Health
by Ali (New York) / 06/23/2011 at 11:01pm / United States (New York) / Health
by arekusa / 06/22/2011 at 11:00pm / United States (New York) / Love
by fmlguy382 / 06/22/2011 at 4:13am / United States / Intimacy
by Morgan / 06/22/2011 at 1:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, my mother told my little sister and me that she has breast cancer to make us feel sorry so that we would clean our rooms. She is perfectly fine. My little sister still thinks that "mommy is going to die". FML
by anonymous / 06/21/2011 at 7:51pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, my pants felt a little looser than usual. Thinking I'd lost weight, I proudly went about my day. It wasn't until much later that I realised I hadn't lost any weight at all; my fly was down. FML
by woodchuck0022 / 05/21/2011 at 5:16pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, a customer went to try on a pair of pants. A few minutes later, she hurriedly returned and put the pants back on the shelf without saying anything. I later found out she'd come down with a bout of diarrhea and apparently didn't want to pay for the dry-cleaning. Glamorous. FML
by n77 / 04/22/2011 at 10:17pm / Switzerland (Vaud) / Health
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML
by cmore / 03/10/2010 at 8:10pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find a very gorgeous girl in my bed. Her only words to me were "did anything happen?" When I replied yes she began to cry. Nice to know I was someone's rock bottom. FML
by feelthelove / 11/02/2009 at 1:08pm / United States / Intimacy
by josh / 09/19/2009 at 4:47am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
- Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, after spending months comparing the previous weather forecasts to work out the exact date,… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish…