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carliflowerr

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carliflowerr

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 13 September 1997 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 181
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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carliflowerr's page activity

Visits<b>Jaybob98</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 4:11pm<b>Liiiiiiiiike</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 2:59pm<b>Amber_Naomy</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 11:37am<b>brettrb</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 3:56am<b>tiptoe55</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 5:09pm<b>RedNinjaTurtle</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 12:12am<b>JMichael</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 7:12pm<b>clumsycarolyn</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:19pm<b>Pesticides</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 10:23pm<b>CallMeWindSock</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 5:46pm<b>EverestMelting</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 5:36pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 2:27pm<b>SiRiSpartan</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 11:39pm<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 3:04am<b>firefighterbee</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 3:16am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 8:11pm<b>Wabbajack789</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 4:21pm<b>alicealiveordead</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 4:06pm

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of carliflowerr's badges

carliflowerr's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a comedy show with my mom, and they asked the audience members to yell out their problems as ideas for an improv skit. My mom yelled, "My daughter can't get a boyfriend!" FML

#21222137
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33544) - you deserved it (3294)

On 07/27/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by Yeppets (woman) - United States

Today, I went back to work after a vacation, only to find out I'll soon be forced to dress up as one of the princesses from Frozen to promote our store. FML

#21221108
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34558) - you deserved it (4992)

On 07/26/2014 at 12:29pm - work - by PrincessPromotion (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

#21219246
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38049) - you deserved it (19424)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33060) - you deserved it (10798)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, my 3-year-old daughter asked me to carry her from the car to the house. I asked her for 3 kisses and a hug in return. She said she'd rather walk instead. FML

#21213512
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43107) - you deserved it (5951)

On 07/18/2014 at 10:56pm - kids - by kids say the darnedest things - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mom told me my relationship is a joke, because teenagers don't understand the meaning of relationships and commitment. I couldn't help but remind her how she's divorced three separate men to date. She hit me over the head so hard that snot flew out of my nose. FML

#21213268
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49945) - you deserved it (9369)

On 07/18/2014 at 7:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

#21213104
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44581) - you deserved it (6134)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML

#21212869
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62901) - you deserved it (4810)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm - love - by someonepleasehelpme (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at my grandma's funeral. While giving the eulogy, I accidentally mixed up "You will be missed" and "You won't be forgotten" and instead said "You won't be missed." FML

#21212849
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41298) - you deserved it (6756)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:30pm - misc - by familyhatesme - United States (Washington)

Today, we decided to go to an aquarium for a little family get-away. At the end was a shark viewing deck, and I leaned over the rails to get a better look. How did I find out that my glasses needed to be adjusted? They fell off and sunk right to the bottom of the shark-infested waters. FML

#21211826
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39521) - you deserved it (11653)

On 07/17/2014 at 11:57am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to a market. I saw stall which had mainly animal furs and things like that. I found a rounded, furry pen and stroked my cheek with it. Wondering what it was, being so soft and oddly shaped, I checked the tag. It was kangaroo testicles. FML

#21211381
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35514) - you deserved it (17299)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:31pm - misc - by happypineapple - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML

#21207511
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41249) - you deserved it (13485)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49472) - you deserved it (6562)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was stuck on a campus tour with my subtly racist mother who, in an attempt to seem open-minded, deemed it appropriate to refer to our black tour guide as "Sistah". FML

#21205559
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40348) - you deserved it (3470)

On 07/10/2014 at 11:32pm - misc - by look how totally not racist I am! - United States (California)



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  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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