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carliflowerr's favorite FMLs
by OzzyWannabee / 02/20/2015 at 3:12am / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom and I went to exchange a massive stuffed animal, which was meant for my niece. I was carrying it when I saw a really hot guy looking at me funny. My mom snickered and told him that I never go anywhere without "George". FML
by thanks a lot mom / 12/28/2014 at 1:52am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as I was thanking him, he said, "You've never had a guy treat you right, have you?" I said no and started crying. FML
by Soulara89 / 12/22/2014 at 8:28pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML
by Anonymous / 12/11/2014 at 4:47pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, since my finals are starting tomorrow, I made a joke about setting my math books on fire. I laughed. Friends laughed. Parents laughed. Guess what subject just managed to actually get in touch with my scented candles? FML
by not laughing anymore / 12/11/2014 at 2:55pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Miscellaneous
by WickedLittleDoll / 12/01/2014 at 11:38am / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
by Anonymous / 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by Purple / 11/05/2014 at 8:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by spooked / 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by subduedbeast / 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm / United States / Love
Today, I got in an argument with my teacher for always comparing me to my sister that she had a few years before. After I said, "I'm not my sister so please stop comparing me to her," she responded, "Of course you're not your sister, I actually like your sister." FML
by Not so much of a teachers pet / 10/22/2014 at 4:55pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I got my graduation photos back. I'd sent them to a friend for touching up, but unfortunately we had a major argument recently. I guess that's why in the photos I've been photoshopped out and replaced with a goat. FML
by Anonymous / 10/22/2014 at 1:37pm / United States (Texas) / Geek
by whywouldyoudothat / 10/06/2014 at 9:14pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
by oncehipjr / 10/03/2014 at 3:04pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, my husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl, the love of his life, whom he's always considered pure, turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better not come hanging round the house. Pussy, two years old, is now housebound until her kittens are born. FML
by Anonyme / 09/26/2014 at 2:56am / France (Lorraine) / Animals
- Today, while talking to my dad, he threw a ball to me and it nailed me in the nuts. I stumbled back… Today, my mom's guilt tripping reached a new level when she told me all she wanted for her birthday… Today, after being embarrassed in public, and disowned by my town, I had to go babysit. The kid is…