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carleybeak

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carleybeak
  • Town/Country : The Mitten State, 'Murica
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1722
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 35 posted

About carleybeak : Swimming, water polo, skiing, pokémon, reddit and nutella.
I'm quirky and enjoy rolling around pretending to be a potato.
I love talking to new people so don't be afraid to send me a message :3
Follow me on instagram :D @chlorinecobra

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carleybeak's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up in the night and was really thirsty so I took a drink of water that had been sitting next to my bed for a few hours. After taking a huge gulp, I felt something strange in my mouth, ignored it and went back to sleep. When I woke up I saw all the ants that were floating in it. FML

#1110151
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51972) - you deserved it (12693)

On 04/19/2009 at 3:07am - misc - by Ihatebugs. (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

#287682
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (128611) - you deserved it (19251)

On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML

#265039
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (220199) - you deserved it (12959)

On 03/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by TuralSucks (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML

#265039
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (220199) - you deserved it (12959)

On 03/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by TuralSucks (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML

#265039
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (220199) - you deserved it (12959)

On 03/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by TuralSucks (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML

#170218
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52072) - you deserved it (13675)

On 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Scottrick (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

#12567
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (266309) - you deserved it (49524)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by hahahehehohohoo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in the forest, I hit my foot against a half-buried metal thing. I dug into the ground, and found a beautiful box, heavy enough to not be empty. I imagined myself with gold coins. Inside was the corpse of a cat. FML

#1817
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21167) - you deserved it (5042)

On 01/20/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by mainche - Sent from mobile version

Today, my wife and I both have blond hair and blue eyes, we just had a red headed son. FML

#767
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29641) - you deserved it (5593)

On 12/31/2008 at 10:45pm - kids - by - Sent from mobile version



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