About carleybeak : Swimming, water polo, skiing, pokémon, minecraft and nutella.
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML
I agree, your life sucks (73701) - you deserved it (15151)
On 06/26/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by ILuvYouSoldiers (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30591) - you deserved it (271256)
On 06/07/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (139775) - you deserved it (32566)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97034) - you deserved it (8079)
On 05/14/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Flicker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boss in my police dept. told me to start enforcing the "no bikes on sidewalks" law which we usually ignore. I pulled up behind the first person I saw riding a bike on a sidewalk and flashed my lights. It turned out to be a boy with down syndrome who was so upset he cried and peed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61315) - you deserved it (9815)
On 05/12/2009 at 2:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (343236) - you deserved it (40797)
On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (207836) - you deserved it (10116)
On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, when I was walking in to the grocery store, a van pulls up and a bunch of guys get out who look really drunk. I jokingly said to the sober-looking man who had driven the van "Sucks you have to be the designated driver!" Turns out the "Drunk" guys were actually mentally challenged. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10612) - you deserved it (47575)
On 04/20/2009 at 11:14pm - misc - by dummy441 - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I woke up in the night and was really thirsty so I took a drink of water that had been sitting next to my bed for a few hours. After taking a huge gulp, I felt something strange in my mouth, ignored it and went back to sleep. When I woke up I saw all the ants that were floating in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47192) - you deserved it (9785)
On 04/19/2009 at 3:07am - misc - by Ihatebugs. (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53355) - you deserved it (418503)
On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML
I agree, your life sucks (109906) - you deserved it (14731)
On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML
I agree, your life sucks (181991) - you deserved it (8540)
On 03/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by TuralSucks (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML
I agree, your life sucks (181991) - you deserved it (8540)
On 03/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by TuralSucks (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML
I agree, your life sucks (181991) - you deserved it (8540)
On 03/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by TuralSucks (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47132) - you deserved it (11845)
On 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Scottrick (man) - United States (Virginia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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