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carleybeak

Offline (the 04/27/2014 at 5:09pm) | Search for a member

carleybeak

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2071
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 35 posted

About carleybeak : Swimming, water polo, skiing, pokémon, reddit and nutella.
I'm quirky and enjoy rolling around pretending to be a potato.
I love talking to new people so don't be afraid to send me a message :3
Follow me on instagram :D @chlorinecobra

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carleybeak's favorite FMLs

Today, I was going to work and got in the elevator. I was going through my bag for my phone and asked the man in the elevator to push the button for me. He gave me a look of death before I realized he had no arms. FML

#4995727
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39763) - you deserved it (12248)

On 09/02/2009 at 9:01am - work - by elevatorjerk - United States

Today, I was at the mall in a store looking at movie posters. I turned around and suddenly saw a creepy guy smiling at me, holding his arms out wide. I screamed "holy shit!" really loudly, causing everyone to stop and stare at me funny. Then I realized the creepy man was a cardboard cutout. FML

#4981586
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12020) - you deserved it (40501)

On 09/01/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by becca1417 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, a very good friend of mine said he had a question to ask me. Jokingly, I threw my arms around his neck and said, "Oh yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" When I sat back down, I saw tears in his eyes, and he said, "You've made me the happiest man alive" as he pulled a small box out of his coat. FML

#4340185
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26225) - you deserved it (96423)

On 08/06/2009 at 5:25pm - love - by dundundadumb (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML

#4229570
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62617) - you deserved it (6841)

On 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by NoFriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

#4053619
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21809) - you deserved it (53390)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in an elevator with my dad and several strangers. When the elevator voice said, "Going down," my dad excitedly said, "Man, I love it when she says that!" loudly enough for everyone to hear. FML

#4000566
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40172) - you deserved it (4162)

On 07/24/2009 at 6:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at work I had to use the bathroom. I asked my boss to watch my register and quickly walked into the bathroom. I squatted down and peed. A minute later I heard someone ask over our walkie talkie system who was using the bathroom. I had been pressing the intercom button while I peed. FML

#3456831
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30410) - you deserved it (11716)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:19pm - work - by PeePee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML

#3232657
685 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84113) - you deserved it (19341)

On 06/26/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by ILuvYouSoldiers (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boss in my police dept. told me to start enforcing the "no bikes on sidewalks" law which we usually ignore. I pulled up behind the first person I saw riding a bike on a sidewalk and flashed my lights. It turned out to be a boy with down syndrome who was so upset he cried and peed. FML

#1873623
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69588) - you deserved it (12988)

On 05/12/2009 at 2:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

#1815627
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (417637) - you deserved it (59573)

On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (259840) - you deserved it (17200)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, when I was walking in to the grocery store, a van pulls up and a bunch of guys get out who look really drunk. I jokingly said to the sober-looking man who had driven the van "Sucks you have to be the designated driver!" Turns out the "Drunk" guys were actually mentally challenged. FML

#1178108
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13702) - you deserved it (61550)

On 04/20/2009 at 11:14pm - misc - by dummy441 - United States (Massachusetts)



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