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Offline (the 11/27/2016 at 11:30am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 July 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5091
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 35 posted

About carleybeak : Hi FML, my name is Carley!
I'm a Criminal Justice major, Biology minor and a former swim team captain at a university here in the mitten!
I ski, play water polo, travel my beautiful state, and party with friends in my free time.
I'm a pretty approachable person so don't be afraid to say hey! (:

carleybeak's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/08/2016 at 9:14am<b>Jayroc</b> - the 12/07/2016 at 2:00pm<b>ponchoman7</b> - the 12/07/2016 at 11:23am<b>Generalleroy</b> - the 12/06/2016 at 7:25pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 12/05/2016 at 10:32am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 12/01/2016 at 11:55pm<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 11/22/2016 at 12:39am<b>FML_0919</b> - the 11/21/2016 at 9:30pm<b>hman1025</b> - the 11/16/2016 at 7:57pm<b>vreid</b> - the 11/16/2016 at 8:23am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 11/15/2016 at 4:01pm<b>orios105</b> - the 11/14/2016 at 2:16pm<b>Captobvious19</b> - the 11/13/2016 at 11:28pm<b>krazistephanie</b> - the 11/13/2016 at 6:07pm<b>chirstinap325</b> - the 11/12/2016 at 4:21pm<b>sloosh</b> - the 11/11/2016 at 6:30pm<b>brian1976</b> - the 11/09/2016 at 4:11pm<b>Mons</b> - the 11/09/2016 at 3:59pm

Fucked!<b>Toonice45</b> - the 11/23/2016 at 1:40pm<b>BoneCollector</b> - the 10/29/2016 at 12:00pm<b>jessecn</b> - the 10/27/2016 at 3:04am<b>A_Wilson0311</b> - the 10/22/2016 at 12:45pm<b>ballerinaaub</b> - the 10/22/2016 at 12:34pm<b>nicolai44</b> - the 10/20/2016 at 8:43pm<b>Sleepy1995</b> - the 10/20/2016 at 6:42pm<b>watermelon15</b> - the 10/19/2016 at 4:34pm<b>james08</b> - the 10/18/2016 at 11:46am<b>prout92340</b> - the 10/16/2016 at 5:51am<b>Talented73</b> - the 10/16/2016 at 12:06am<b>ironhead</b> - the 10/15/2016 at 6:59pm<b>swharley</b> - the 10/15/2016 at 1:21pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 10/15/2016 at 12:15pm<b>sandman676</b> - the 10/15/2016 at 11:35am<b>DravensTheName</b> - the 10/15/2016 at 8:04am<b>Corey122726</b> - the 10/15/2016 at 5:25am<b>kolom</b> - the 10/15/2016 at 4:25am

carleybeak's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of carleybeak's badges

carleybeak's favorite FMLs

Today, I was going to work and got in the elevator. I was going through my bag for my phone and asked the man in the elevator to push the button for me. He gave me a look of death before I realized he had no arms. FML

by elevatorjerk / 09/02/2009 at 9:01am / United States / Work

Today, I was at the mall in a store looking at movie posters. I turned around and suddenly saw a creepy guy smiling at me, holding his arms out wide. I screamed "holy shit!" really loudly, causing everyone to stop and stare at me funny. Then I realized the creepy man was a cardboard cutout. FML

by becca1417 / 09/01/2009 at 6:21pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, a very good friend of mine said he had a question to ask me. Jokingly, I threw my arms around his neck and said, "Oh yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" When I sat back down, I saw tears in his eyes, and he said, "You've made me the happiest man alive" as he pulled a small box out of his coat. FML

by dundundadumb / 08/06/2009 at 5:25pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML

by NoFriends / 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

by Anonymous / 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in an elevator with my dad and several strangers. When the elevator voice said, "Going down," my dad excitedly said, "Man, I love it when she says that!" loudly enough for everyone to hear. FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2009 at 6:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work I had to use the bathroom. I asked my boss to watch my register and quickly walked into the bathroom. I squatted down and peed. A minute later I heard someone ask over our walkie talkie system who was using the bathroom. I had been pressing the intercom button while I peed. FML

by PeePee / 07/03/2009 at 3:19pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML

by ILuvYouSoldiers / 06/26/2009 at 3:57am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

by wtfdreams / 05/17/2009 at 8:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML

by Flicker / 05/14/2009 at 3:23am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss in my police dept. told me to start enforcing the "no bikes on sidewalks" law which we usually ignore. I pulled up behind the first person I saw riding a bike on a sidewalk and flashed my lights. It turned out to be a boy with down syndrome who was so upset he cried and peed. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2009 at 2:29pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bear to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

by catlady1989 / 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, when I was walking in to the grocery store, a van pulls up and a bunch of guys get out who look really drunk. I jokingly said to the sober-looking man who had driven the van "Sucks you have to be the designated driver!" Turns out the "Drunk" guys were actually mentally challenged. FML

by dummy441 / 04/20/2009 at 11:14pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous