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carleybeak

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carleybeak

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2123
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 35 posted

About carleybeak : Swimming, water polo, skiing, pokémon, reddit and nutella.
I'm quirky and enjoy rolling around pretending to be a potato.
I love talking to new people so don't be afraid to send me a message :3
Follow me on instagram :D @chlorinecobra

carleybeak's page activity

Visits<b>epicpancakezzz</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 1:40am<b>gavdarv</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 9:58am<b>captaininouille</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 5:17am<b>WillowB47</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 2:00am<b>morondon000</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 1:16am<b>aWalrus13</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 10:48pm<b>inner_peace</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 7:22am<b>Mons</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 6:55am<b>dieselfreak123</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 9:21pm<b>kemosabe4201</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 12:44pm<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 11:51pm<b>TumblrAndStuff</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 2:23pm<b>Crusher74</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 7:26am<b>ButterflyHaze</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 7:37pm<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 1:47pm<b>Pwib</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 2:55am<b>jacob2332</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 12:38pm<b>sharklover2017</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 1:11am

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carleybeak's favorite FMLs

Today, as a prank, a friend and I tied a 10 dollar bill to a fishing line, and yanked it away from people as they reached for it. It was going really well until one of our victims pulled a knife and chased us around the block. FML

#16144015
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13173) - you deserved it (52536)

On 05/12/2011 at 1:53pm - misc - by Jackassed - United States (New York)

Today, my mother said she called our internet provider, and told them to cancel it. In rage, I left for a friends house for a couple of hours. When I got home, she told me she was joking, and wanted me out of the house so she could eat all the ice-cream. FML

#16041715
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15346) - you deserved it (34245)

On 05/04/2011 at 5:11am - misc - by Derps (man) - Denmark (Midtjyllen)

Today, I noticed this guy crying in the park. I went up to him to see what was wrong. Apparently his girlfriend broke up with him, and he also said he wanted to kill himself. My first response was "Don't, you'll regret it later in life". FML

#15869241
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30512) - you deserved it (12271)

On 04/21/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by alopez1994 -

Today, I learned, 15 years later, that my puppy from when I was 4, was not taken by Santa because he was in need of a reindeer. My parents took him to the shelter because they thought he was ugly. FML

#15508713
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37743) - you deserved it (4712)

On 03/27/2011 at 2:10am - misc - by leeseyxoxo (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, during dinner, my family had a discussion about the color of poop. FML

#14984577
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26676) - you deserved it (4155)

On 02/15/2011 at 12:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my sister lost a leg. Immediately after hearing the news, my boyfriend started cracking jokes about getting her a job at IHOP. FML

Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML

#14898622
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32619) - you deserved it (3092)

On 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML

#14169295
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30294) - you deserved it (7677)

On 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm - work - by stifledbyyou (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while drinking at a bar with my girlfriend, my ex-girlfriend who I've been seeing on the side walked straight up to her, introducing herself as "the ex-girlfriend that he's been sleeping with for the past 3 months." FML

Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML

#7631341
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31676) - you deserved it (6378)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by Crap (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sent to the hospital for being knocked out with a potato. FML

#7290118
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27737) - you deserved it (3698)

On 01/11/2010 at 10:40pm - health - by brileyyyy - United States (Missouri)

Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML

#7264308
183 comments

Today, I was working at a children's play centre, and my stomach was twisting and turning. Thinking no one was around, I let out a small fart, only to turn and see a little girl running to her mom yelling, "Mommy-mommy that lady just farted and it sounded like daddy!" FML

#6441579
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11907) - you deserved it (23390)

On 11/25/2009 at 2:36am - kids - by n/a - United States

Today, a woman cursed me out, called me a perverted freak, and said I should be ashamed of myself because I had asked her "How much for one night?." She works in a toy shop, I was with my five year old daughter, and was pointing to the sign, "Rent A Helium Tank!" FML

#6354900
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39561) - you deserved it (2760)

On 11/18/2009 at 2:52pm - kids - by whatthewhat - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

#5974378
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32969) - you deserved it (8720)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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