cargobob

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cargobob

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1542
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About cargobob : There is nothing, but everything! And that profile picture was a long time ago... Just remembering what the good ol' days were like. It was a swag life then. But no more! But everything else about me is... *puts on shades* is classified information. OHHHH YAAAA

cargobob's page activity

Visits<b>jeromemweil</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 12:06am<b>Patriots21</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 9:55pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 9:48pm<b>deathstroke990</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 3:58am<b>Urpoppy</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 10:38pm<b>mystam4</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 12:30pm<b>superwolf33</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 8:45pm<b>Jellybellybeanz</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 6:28pm<b>taylor21398</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 8:53pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 11:38am<b>ashleylove0525</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 12:41pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 10:18pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 12:37pm<b>rayray7066</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 9:15pm<b>purplebabytacos1</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 12:31am<b>thexguyxnextdoor</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 2:00am<b>WALKING_BANNANA</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 1:08am<b>Anarchy66</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 3:55am

Fucked!<b>superwolf33</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 2:13am

cargobob's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of cargobob's badges

cargobob's favorite FMLs

Today, there's a new freshman at my school that looks exactly like me. Whenever we see her, my friends shout "Twinzies!" I don't have anything against her, but I'm bummed because I'm a male senior. FML

by twinzies / 02/19/2016 at 9:46pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

by cunning glassist / 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2014 at 5:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey on my breast. To be fair I decided to give him a hickey on his chest. He was so worried about catching shit from the guys on his swim team that he dislocated my jaw trying to get me off him. FML

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my younger brother asked if he could watch me put a tampon in. He's 17. FML

by ugh / 01/16/2014 at 8:37am / Vietnam (Ha Noi) / Intimacy

Today, I was asked to go to a ball by the guy I like. The theme is masquerade. He made me a Robin mask; he's wearing a Batman mask. FML

by Unfortunately Me / 01/08/2014 at 7:54pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

by gottacatchemall / 01/08/2014 at 12:43am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I lost a bet with my grandma, and now she's coming with me on my next date. FML

by Anonymous / 01/07/2014 at 11:21pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a long poem that ended with, "Please don't get another mister / I regret I screwed your sister". FML

by notakeeper / 01/02/2014 at 10:50pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, when I am asked to do something and I don't do it immediately, my mother threatens to "twerk" in front of my friends. FML

by FMLPLZ / 01/02/2014 at 9:52pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there were still two commercials left before the show resumed. FML

by erjazo / 12/31/2013 at 4:19pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I was dressing in front of my boyfriend. He was looking at me in wonder and I assumed this was a good thing. Then he muttered, "God damn, you're awkwardly shaped." FML

by awkword / 12/31/2013 at 12:47pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my girlfriend informed me that our relationship is an open one. This was only after I was told that when she was "stuck in traffic" two days ago, she was actually playing the triple-X version of Twister in my "best friend's" bed. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2013 at 3:07pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love

Today, my boyfriend of five years got me a ring for Christmas. When I opened it, I was speechless and overjoyed. He then said, "It's just a ring. It doesn't mean anything." FML

by Wtfbro / 12/24/2013 at 3:30pm / United States / Love