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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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carabear555

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carabear555
  • Town/Country : Akron, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 January 1996 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 2270
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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carabear555's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML

#5407615 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (30307) - you deserved it (11342)

On 09/22/2009 at 12:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was in an elevator with my dad and several strangers. When the elevator voice said, "Going down," my dad excitedly said, "Man, I love it when she says that!" loudly enough for everyone to hear. FML

#4000566 (118)

I agree, your life sucks (33231) - you deserved it (3073)

On 07/24/2009 at 6:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was riding in the car with my boyfriend. While he was driving, I held out my hand as an offer for him to hold it. Instead, he grabs me by the wrist and shoves my hand down his pants. Lovely. FML

#3890479 (249)

I agree, your life sucks (35492) - you deserved it (13673)

On 07/19/2009 at 9:23pm - love - by DanceOnTheEdge (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I spent 3 hours washing my hands to get the pony out of the soap bar. I'm 16. FML

#3297197 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (8762) - you deserved it (37523)

On 06/28/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Soapy (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, while reading some chemistry notes I came across the term "solid water". Completely stumped, I asked myself, "What the hell is solid water?" Then I heard my little cousin say "ice." I'm a 4th year science major in university. He still checks the closet for monsters. FML

#3142518 (263)

I agree, your life sucks (20360) - you deserved it (59132)

On 06/23/2009 at 10:19am - work - by uneek14 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML

#3120236 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (42242) - you deserved it (3633)

On 06/22/2009 at 2:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my 9 year old nephew found his way onto my iTunes. I now have 401 songs titled "aidfj3P" by "ffjiel". FML

#3115220 (255)

I agree, your life sucks (45581) - you deserved it (4691)

On 06/22/2009 at 9:32am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, I spilt purple washing detergent all over my white carpet. Desperate to get it up I grabbed a blue towel and started mopping it up. The detergent hasn't stained the carpet at all, the blue dye from the towel has. FML

#3089215 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (14974) - you deserved it (21490)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:20pm - misc - by carpetoops (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my husband and I were having sex in the shower while our 5-year old was sleeping. Apparently, she wasn't sleeping and she asked me what those loud noises were. I told her I was singing. Now I can't get her to stop "singing" in the shower. FML

#3058885 (211)

I agree, your life sucks (14213) - you deserved it (42741)

On 06/20/2009 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML

#3016666 (234)

I agree, your life sucks (10796) - you deserved it (75474)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by kat9232000 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was on the phone with my best friend who lives out of town. He was strangely quiet. Later that day I asked him why he didn't talk much. He admitted he was jacking off to the sound of my voice. FML

#2975022 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (43517) - you deserved it (3107)

On 06/17/2009 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by automaticfail_00 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my 18th birthday. I got one thing: a fancy electric toothbrush from my little sister. I would say I'm happy to have something rather than nothing, except, for as long as the toothbrush works, there will be a Hannah Montana concert going on in my mouth. FML

#2935606 (186)

I agree, your life sucks (41211) - you deserved it (2607)

On 06/16/2009 at 7:14am - misc - by BirthdayTeeth - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I was on the phone with a prospective blind date. He asked me to describe myself so I said that I was fun, attractive and a little chubby but not fat. My 7 year old sister walked up to me and screamed "Jesus doesn't like it when we lie!". FML

#2914098 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (40370) - you deserved it (9767)

On 06/15/2009 at 3:11pm - love - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking by a bunch of pretty girls. I'm not the most attractive boy, so I walked by nervously. I heard one yell "Hey cutie!" I turned to look, and they started laughing. She said "Oh my god, sorry! I assumed you were cute from your butt!" Apparently, my ass is nicer than my face. FML

#2894787 (247)

I agree, your life sucks (49017) - you deserved it (1938)

On 06/14/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by bitches. (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML

#2637147 (338)

I agree, your life sucks (15503) - you deserved it (51192)

On 06/05/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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