captain2obvious

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captain2obvious

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 26 November 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 2544
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About captain2obvious : "What is today?" "It's tomorrows yesterday".

captain2obvious's page activity

Visits<b>Ugi</b> - the 04/24/2012 at 9:16am<b>WCARlover</b> - the 03/30/2012 at 7:48pm<b>soulofnature</b> - the 12/13/2011 at 10:24pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 10/23/2011 at 6:51pm<b>sexxme</b> - the 10/09/2011 at 10:34am<b>ikickgingers</b> - the 10/05/2011 at 8:24pm<b>mein_blut69</b> - the 09/30/2011 at 10:53am<b>Fultonsoccer7</b> - the 09/25/2011 at 5:37pm<b>fthislyfe</b> - the 09/22/2011 at 4:59am<b>erpaderp</b> - the 09/19/2011 at 12:21am<b>perdix</b> - the 09/14/2011 at 5:48pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:03pm<b>KiddNYC1O</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 5:44pm<b>E_ve</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 2:53am<b>THE_A_TEEN</b> - the 09/09/2011 at 1:59am<b>Iamnotmyself</b> - the 08/31/2011 at 10:13pm<b>Nikelopez</b> - the 08/18/2011 at 5:20pm<b>haiu2323</b> - the 08/17/2011 at 9:22am

captain2obvious's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of captain2obvious's badges

captain2obvious's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to sift through hundreds of pages of legal documents. They were all written in Comic Sans font. FML

by chawlay / 07/05/2011 at 10:04am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I found out all about my son's secret online double life. He's been moonlighting for two years as a male prostitute by the name of Peter Parker. FML

by Mom / 06/11/2011 at 1:25pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, my family went and visited my nan. She ushered me in close and asked, "When are you going to knock it off with all this emo cockshite?" FML

by Flarewolf / 06/04/2011 at 2:09pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2011 at 7:30pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I locked myself in the bathroom and started spanking the ferret. I started to get really into it when my dad started pounding on the door and yelled, "Son, that's great staying power, but can you finish up already?" FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2011 at 2:09pm / Saudi Arabia / Intimacy

Today, I walked out of my house, waved at my neighbors, walked through my front yard and into the side yard to turn off the sprinkler. It wasn't until I was back into the house that I remembered I wasn't wearing a top. FML

by eringoBRA / 05/06/2011 at 10:07am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I knocked on the door of the bathroom to make sure nobody was in there before I walked in. Then I remembered I live alone. FML

by liynda / 05/05/2011 at 9:49pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I brought my girlfriend of four months home for dinner to meet my parents. The first thing my mom says to her? "Oh my God, you're real!" FML

by Charlie / 05/04/2011 at 11:30pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the bakery I work at. A man came in to pick up a cake he said he ordered, but we could find neither the cake nor the order form. He yelled at me about being 'incompetent' before remembering that he had ordered the cake from a different bakery. FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2011 at 6:38pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I went into the women's bathroom and was warmly greeted by a man masturbating on one of the sinks. FML

by Jill / 04/09/2011 at 6:00pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

by omg / 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, while at a boring lecture, I heard some people behind me whispering and laughing. I turned around, wondering what was so funny, which made them laugh even more. I then realised it looked like I'd been giving my pen a blowjob for the last 10 minutes. FML

by gayboii / 03/19/2011 at 5:37pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Intimacy

Today, as I went into my calculus class, the teacher announced that someone had received a negative grade on the test we were getting back. I laughed and said, "Which f*cker managed to get a negative?" Turns out I'm the dumbass. FML

by terrible kenny / 01/30/2011 at 4:24am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancé was performing oral on me, when I heard him start making a "Waka waka waka waka" noise. He confessed to pretending to be Pacman. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2009 at 9:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, and trying to impress the kids, I kicked it over the slide. I turn around to see three crying six year olds. It was their hamster ball. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2009 at 1:10pm / United States (New York) / Kids