About captain2obvious : "What is today?" "It's tomorrows yesterday".
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captain2obvious's favorite FMLs
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
by IbetIgotAIDS / 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
by COCKYmanUSC / 09/11/2011 at 10:50pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by 5.9Cummins / 09/10/2011 at 11:18pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
by chicagobulls102 / 09/10/2011 at 2:19pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/09/2011 at 10:19pm / Reserved / Work
by Anonymous / 09/09/2011 at 9:36am / United States (New York) / Health
Today, the only thing my downstairs neighbor wanted to talk about with me is how she can hear us go to the bathroom. She also claims that she can tell which one of us is going, based on the noise level. FML
by monochrometea / 09/08/2011 at 10:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the book store when a book caught my eye: Overcoming Anxiety For Dummies. I wanted to look through the book but I was too nervous to pick it up, thinking everyone in the store would look at me. FML
by Mack / 09/08/2011 at 8:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by datingmrpicky / 08/21/2011 at 11:44pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Emily / 08/21/2011 at 12:54am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Username / 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by ThisGuy97 / 08/12/2011 at 4:46pm / United States / Health
by xxxkkxxx / 07/29/2011 at 11:37am / Hong Kong / Holidays
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex, and it was my first time being on top. I got so into it that when I went to put my hands on the wall for support, the shelf above my bed snapped, with my favorite little cactus falling onto his face. FML
by Anonymous / 07/29/2011 at 3:24am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by failure / 07/29/2011 at 2:19am / United States (California) / Love
- 1Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 2Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…
- Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me that he listened to me yesterday: I said that I loved unusual… Today, I went to the Eiffel Tower with my boyfriend. We’d been talking about getting married for a… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only…