captain2obvious

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captain2obvious

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 26 November 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 3004
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About captain2obvious : "What is today?" "It's tomorrows yesterday".

captain2obvious's page activity

Visits<b>Ugi</b> - the 04/24/2012 at 9:16am<b>WCARlover</b> - the 03/30/2012 at 7:48pm<b>soulofnature</b> - the 12/13/2011 at 10:24pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 10/23/2011 at 6:51pm<b>sexxme</b> - the 10/09/2011 at 10:34am<b>ikickgingers</b> - the 10/05/2011 at 8:24pm<b>mein_blut69</b> - the 09/30/2011 at 10:53am<b>Fultonsoccer7</b> - the 09/25/2011 at 5:37pm<b>fthislyfe</b> - the 09/22/2011 at 4:59am<b>erpaderp</b> - the 09/19/2011 at 12:21am<b>perdix</b> - the 09/14/2011 at 5:48pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:03pm<b>KiddNYC1O</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 5:44pm<b>E_ve</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 2:53am<b>THE_A_TEEN</b> - the 09/09/2011 at 1:59am<b>Iamnotmyself</b> - the 08/31/2011 at 10:13pm<b>Nikelopez</b> - the 08/18/2011 at 5:20pm<b>haiu2323</b> - the 08/17/2011 at 9:22am

captain2obvious's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of captain2obvious's badges

captain2obvious's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my boyfriend of two years cheating on me. Instead of the usual excuses, he panicked and claimed he was my boyfriend's long-lost twin brother. He even tried to put on a fake accent. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:26am / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, my school voted for a Pokémon theme for this year's homecoming. FML

by ohgodwhy / 09/18/2011 at 5:16pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, on my way to a concert, some guy told me I had cool sunglasses. I was about to thank him until he punched me in the face. I woke up with no sunglasses and no ticket. FML

by incaseudidntkno / 09/18/2011 at 9:36am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

by awesomekidsmum / 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML

by applesmama / 09/17/2011 at 12:36am / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, I had a graded performance in my drama class. I had to play a murderer in an interrogation room. I got really into it and started pounding on the windows to try to "escape". The thin glass smashed. Four hours in casualty, stitches and plastic surgery pretty much sum up my mood. FML

by anonymous / 09/16/2011 at 1:18pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Health

Today, while teaching my high school class about astronomy, I showed them a picture of earth from space. One girl raised her hand, and asked me what the "white things" were. In other words, clouds. FML

by Smart / 09/16/2011 at 10:42am / United States / Kids

Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML

by QuickieGirl / 09/16/2011 at 7:28am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, my mom decided to only speak to me through our pet cat. FML

by izu / 09/16/2011 at 1:40am / United States / Animals

Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I overheard my boss stressing out over finding a replacement for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML

by Hreyes / 09/15/2011 at 1:56pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML

by wf / 09/14/2011 at 2:11pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend proposed by painting his chest with "marry me?" and an arrow going down. The ring was attached to his penis with a string. FML

by ohmaigawd / 09/14/2011 at 12:59pm / Argentina / Intimacy

Today, for the 5th day in a row, I had to keep my 7-year-old home from school and search his poop because he "forgot" he's not supposed to swallow things like, in this case, a screw that fell off his scooter. FML

by OopsMonkey / 09/13/2011 at 9:43am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a rejection letter from a college that I'd applied to 6 years ago. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2011 at 1:53am / United States / Miscellaneous